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I’m trying to fix the root cause which is my self esteem.
Serious question do you truly like yourself? Follow up; why or why don't you like yourself?
but pretty much everybody my age (gen Z) is on the self improvement grind so it’s hard to stand out
Bull shit but I'm starting to get the picture. You'll excuse and reason your way out of every opportunity in regards to women, out of fear of rejection.
cold response after great first date
So went on a date with this girl who I thought was really attractive. Fit all the checkboxes and all that bs.
The date went really well I would say. I took her for a coffee ->then a walk -> then a bar. As the date progressed she was making hard eye contact and even asking me to make future plans. As we leave the bar she asks me to walk her home and we make out on the way there. We make out in front of her building and then i tell her good night.
After the date this was the text convo:
Me next morning: had a nice time last night, did you sleep alright? (we were both kind of passing out at the bar the night before)
Her: replies back at 5ish PM that day: had a nice time, slept well etc some bs about her day, asks me about my day and sleep
me: replies back at 12 am that night: some bs about my day, we should do it again sometime
her: replies back two days later: hearts my message, yeah definitely asks about my weekend
Me: replies the next day: just said some bs about my weekend and asked her about her weekend (i didn't really feel like asking her out after a two day response)
Her: radio silence...
Was this a fuck up in my text game after the date ? or something im missing during the date? Should i have went for the close that night?
I didn't even want to go on the date initially, she was the one that asked me out and I was surprised at how much I liked her at the end of the night.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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ALWAYS BE CLOSING
you don't need to fuck fatties just shoot your shot dude. Some will say yes
@Vermillion-Rx > some women will want you and it's your job to try so that you can figure out which ones it it.
Yeah this part makes a lot of sense. The only women that have actually pursued me have been fat/unattractive women so maybe I should go for them and just eat viagra or something to lose my khhv status
At least you had
You don't know everything I had to deal with. I maxxed out my story characters.
Even if you did it doesn't matter. I still tried. You have to fucking try. Women are only attracted to dudes who are action and take risks. If you aren't doing that you're fucked . That's the entry level barrier.
You need to just face rejection or the possibility of it.
Or better you look at it the correct way, some women will want you and it's your job to try so that you can figure out which ones it it.
You're not special. The forumula doesn't magically change because you hate yourself or had narc parents. That's horseshit. If you at least fucking try some girls will be down. Fuck your attitude
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@Vermillion-Rx I read it man and it seems like you were always surrounded by people at least. You had friend groups, stayed in dorms in college etc. I had none of that. It’s not as inspiring as you think it would be but thanks for linking it.
I was isolated and socially handicapped by narcissistic parents and I’m actively trying to reverse that. I feel like I never learned how to genuinely connect with people and I have a bunch of insecurities about not being good enough along with having a very transactional view of relationships and having a hard time trusting/opening up to people. Sorry for the trauma dump but I never talked about any of this here so might as well put it out there.
I know you’re going to say as a man it’s my duty to take it on the chin and keep my head up. Which I agree with, just wanted to let you know where I’m coming from I guess
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I know exactly what your pussy ass is thinking because I did the same shit before. You know what the only thing you can do is??
Take action. You're not going to magically psychoanalyze yourself into confidence when you have no victories.
You're not a goddamn woman who can just sit on her tits till someone goes and lowers their standards for her. You have to actually fucking try.
Confidence comes from victory not from stroking your dick on the internet
Go read my origin story and tell me i don't know what I'm talking about
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