Come here to ask any question you'd like. Advice, stories, suggestions, anything goes.
@Lionsmane8 Interesting. I think it’s a work of art if one is able to estimate with a high probability if a girl is doing something consciously or unconsciously. I’ve gotten better at it but far from perfect. I sometimes attribute something to malice only to find out it was not malicious at all. I can’t read her from your story but I bet you can gauge her motivations. Especially in the beginning of a relationship women are usually so emotion dominated that it is unlikely that she’s acting in a rational calculated manner. So I would use caution in trying to rationalize her behavior.
I’d rather have my money on her having her subconscious alarm bells ringing. Explaining to her your way of thinking does not help very much here.
You should gauge how much security she needs and you should try to understand where it’s coming from. It looks to me like the dread is enough. Maybe also see that not every day is a banging day for women and spending time with her without sex is an investment on your part. Clearly, we have to be careful with investments, but if she puts in the effort and the sex is there, it does not hurt the relationship to put in investment on your part. It definitely drives the relationship into an LTR direction though, so be mindful of that.Read More
@TwoInchesOfShaft someone who gets it. Just ignore the rage comments man, some guys on these forums just keep projecting their frustrations. It's so obvious it hurts. Anyhows yes, i minimally invested in this girl (besides buying her coffee, and working out with her) and she has taken big risks considering where we're from and her background. I already calmed her down by showing her that she is more than a sex toy (introducing her to my social circle). Honestly i think i built too much confort with her that now she thinks that she can armbar me into accepting a relationship where sex happens only when she's "in the mood". It reminds me of clients trying to extract waaay more value than they can get by being stubborn or by giving ultimatums.
@TwoInchesOfShaft unlike drake, i think you are closer to the truth. She does feel a little bit used though. I have tried calming her concerns by telling her that if she was for sex only i would not have introduced her to my social circle. The anti slfut mechanism is there, but i feel there is more to that. I really do feel like she is somehow trying to make me b"end to her will, trying to not "expec"t sex but rather be "grateful" that she is "in the mood" and that im getting some. Which will never happen even in her wildest dreams.
@SeasonedRP You really think a girl who fucks him for weeks on end without “anything in return” is not attracted? Please explain.
She clearly shows the wish to lock him down which means she sees him as higher value and is insecure about their status. In my opinion this screams attraction. But I’ll hear you out.
To your point about why they ration sex, you should read TRP again. The basic premise of male female relationships is sex vs commitment. If women get the feeling they give sex (which inherently goes hand in hand with emotional investment for them) but the commitment is not increasing, then they feel what they call “used” aka they don’t get return on their investment fast enough.
If you want to keep them, you should:
- Give them extra stuff they can do for you besides sex so they get used to providing value to your life
- Keep them emotionally engaged, give them a little treat for their investment (be interested in something she does, praise her for being fun to be around, allude to some future date).
Cave: if you see that it won’t go anywhere don’t do this stuff, it will increase their bonding and it will a harsher break up.Read More
@drake man, i stopped taking advice from dudes that easily dole out the word "cringe". It makes me cringe seeing them revel in their perceived chadness as they magnanimously share advice with the plebes. So contemptious. I've already soft nexted her. And if you read what i said, i clearly outlined my boundaries and expectations for the relationship, i don't like to play guessing games, those are my rules you in it girl or you bounce. But i guess their instinct is to continuously angle for more power.
@SeasonedRP not really, where i'm from (conservative country) women rarely dole out sex outside of marriage. she must really like you to do anything outside of that frame. I think they instinctively treat sex as a bargaining chip, and for the most part it works on most men.
@Lionsmane8 that's so much cringe
You failed the first shit test. You just say "yeah, all good" and then try again 10 mins later after seducing her more. Of she still says the same BS, time to leave gracefully. Try her again one more time and if she still pulls the same BS, soft next. The things you said to there the second time were cringy as fuck. You don't apply logic to these situations. You gave an ultimatum and failed miserably.