@skylerclooney

Need perspective on my situation

Hey everyone, I’m new here and wanted to put my story out because I’ve been carrying this around and could use some outside perspective. I met a girl about a year ago, and from the start we clicked in a way that felt different. We spent a lot of time together, shared plans, and she really made me feel like I’d found something serious. But lately things have shifted. She’s become distant, cancels plans often, and when we’re together it feels like her attention is somewhere else. I’ve tried to bring it up without sounding needy, but she brushes it off with "I’m just busy." I can’t figure out if I should keep putting effort in, give her more space, or take the distance as a sign that it’s time to move on. I know emotions can cloud judgment, so I’d like to hear from people who’ve been in similar situations. How do you decide when it’s worth fighting for and when it’s smarter to walk away?

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@MrSupreme

Finally getting back in the game - FR

I wrote a field report a few weeks ago on the first date I've gone to in years,this one is about the last 2 dates with the same girl.

Here's what you should know about her:

• Single mom of 4, the 2 daddies are out of the country,only one keeps in touch with the kids and she's happy they're out her life.
• 32 years old,mid face, slim,feminine,sexy and tskes good care of herself (puss too tight for 4 kids,wow)
• Is definitely a loner, only goes to work,then back home with the kids and her mum, does not go out unless it is with me,her kids have been on vacation and are coming back this week.
• Submissive,loving and affectionate but I'm getting love bomber vibes.

So I wrote the first FR after the 1st date, which was my first one in like 5 years. She keeps in touch daily, isn't not too needy but likes to talk about her day and say stuff. I'm not running a country here and i keep busy at work so I do have a phone call at night for a while, just chatting and getting hot and horny.

Second date was even hotter than the first, came home first, made out and got touchy,great small tits. Couldn't smash because too much people here so we went out for a walk and a meal.Talked a bunch about nothing and i had my favorite ice cream. Then back to my place at 8pm

We dont go inside the apartament, i knew the logistics were shit to smash that night(small apartment,mom and bro were around )so we stood outside,showed her around the park and we made out and got super horny for a while,lots of touching, made her hold my dick and took some pictures of her for my amateur photography hobby

I call her cab at 11pm and before she says bye,she says "te amo" and i ask her "did i hear that correctly?" she just nods and goes home. I remember saying out loud: "manipulative lady", lol i don't doubt I'm loveable but after 2 dates it is kind of soon,flattering though

So anyways,we talk about it,she says she just says what she feels and i say ok and i kinda love her too as in an "i love everybody" kind of way.No problems there since she's just expressing her stuff and i love that i wasn't asked to reciprocate, she gets +15 points for that. But Love Bomber detected (tick tock,this is not a LTR

The following week we talk,sbe has her period over the weekend (i can but i wont)and i make plans with another girl (i ghosted because she went from thicc to whale in her pictures). She gets bitchy and hangs my phone calls mid sentence, so i tell her im gonna scold her soon. So i tell her i don't wanna see her becsuse she's being like that, snd we dont meet last week She gets super sad,posting sad oictures of her and tells me she NEEDS to see me snd thst she loves me.She still makes contact snd tells me she likes being disciplined,just like i said i would.

Another week, daily contact,i see her getting dressed after shower,cute body.We meet yesterday She comes to my room,we lay in my bed for 3 hours getting intimate,blows me without me asking, has s very wet and tight snatch for a mother of 4.We get some lunch and come back to some talking and playing around.

She says she intends to keep going out with me,loves me,will miss me,i make her feel good,etc. Her kids will be in the picture soon and we'll see how stuff changes after that, i do not want to meet them and dates will only be with her.

I have been getting in touch with this last chick i wrote 5 years ago, feedback is good,already making plans to go out this week, she's around 26 and good looking.But doesn't use social media and getting in touch is hard so blah,may not do shit.

Glad to be out of my rut with a job I like and getting some female attention/contact despite it being hard since i don't go out much and mostly its dating apps. Will definitely approach in person when possible, but work is priority right now so just one plate is enough for me atm,because of time.

Study the book and consider also putting these field reports to your own journal you keep nearby at home.

@WarnerBro

What do you call the sex-negative psychos?

People communicate but we've evolved the "flirt".

What do we call self-excluding schizos/psychos like:

Sex-negative feminists

• Is not willing to diet, work out and engage dating
• Sometimes a "polilez"
• Calls non-conforming women "sluts"
• They hate others for having sex
• Politically aggressive

Pussy-cartel feminists

• They want "to control the boys"
• Fakes religion/morals
• Calls non-conforming women "sluts"
• They hate others having sex
• Politically aggressive

Incels

• They don't want to believe in personal responsibility/improvement
• They don't want sex
• They feel comfortable in their "loser identity" and they don't want it to be debunked/taken away
• They hate others having sex
• Politically aggressive

Sex-negative gossip guys

• They lurk male spaces
• They disturb and leak gossip to women for attention
• They shame men to virtue-signal
• They hate others for having sex
• Politically aggressive

etc.

This list doesn't include nerds, geeks and other sexually useless hobby cliques because they're not really aggressive. The list doesn't include WAATGM or other loser women stereotypes because they actually date and fuck — they're real people with real problems. None of the destructive behaviours listed above actually benefits their sex lives,

What do you call the people that actively try to make sex a difficult conversation for everyone?

This is relevant because I want to entertain strategies that actively avoids these types.

14h ago

Hey @carnold03 , Does the dating dictionary have an entry for this behaviour?

So far, you've had about a month to study the book for yourself.

@shootinglikekobe

Tips on balancing scaling a business & dating?

Looking for advice from the more grown fellas on here.

Does anybody have any advice on how to properly balance scaling a business vs dating? Used to spend a lot of time messing with women in my early/mid 20s, but about a year ago, things in life changed and I completely switched my focus to entrepreneurship. Things have been fantastic in that sense. Making more money than I ever have, love what I do everyday, and love the control I have over my life. That said, I haven't been putting that much time into women. Have had a couple around that I put 0 effort into (they really choose me), but I obviously am not in it with them, nor look at them as somebody I'd like to be publicly associated with. Not in a they're ugly sense, but just I know how my history and know I can/should do better. I'm confident that if I put effort into that side of my life, I'll succeed, but with the success of my business and the nonstop nature of being my own boss/scaling, I obviously prioritize that, which leads to me not fulfilling the side of life with women. For example, though rusty, I'm definitely not scared/intimidated by women, but I'm never at bars/rarely at social events to even be in a position to make moves because I'm typically at home/out of town working. I'm not even worried about the spending part. To me, I see it as me spending time with somebody who can't provide real benefits to my business/my life financially. On a deeper level, at this point, I've kind of lost respect for a lot of women as so many get by on little qualities other than sexuality, and don't know what it's like to really work/earn something completely independently (i.e. run a business). That thought is in my head whenever I meet a pretty girl, and it just turns me off.

I'm conscious enough to know that there's something I could be doing wrong, so would appreciate any constructive criticism w/ respect to my POV and how I could be at fault w/ how I view things.

Overall, I'm not anxious about the priorities I've chosen per say, but just wanting to get back in the game without losing any momentum in business.

Thoughts?

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@GetMoreBooks

How to Pursue in Group Settings/Deciding who to pursue vs. going with the flow

Had a payoff for a social gathering tonight, but upon reflection not too sure how I feel about it overall. Basically I went out with a social group I'm a part of to a bar after. Big group, 2 girls of this group were friends. Girl A was hot, but I had much better conversation with Girl B. Basically the group went to 2 bars, and while I was walking with the group, Girl B and I had some conversation, and it was going pretty well, so I ended up talking to her more. Girl B and Girl A sat near me, but since Girl B ended up right next to me, I ended up talking to her more and pursing her more due to proximity. However, looking back at the night, I think Girl A might of been sending me signals (not sure, never had it happen before). Girl A made sure to know I was invited when the group was changing location, and asked me a couple questions about myself. I thought she was just being nice, but now I think she may of been interested. I ended up getting girl B's number, so I'll go out and get coffee with her this week, but kinda feeling like I went the safe route(girl B), instead of shooting my shot with the hotter girl(girl A). Girl B had good body language though,she turned her whole torso to face me while we were talking at the bar, and was still cute if not a bit awkward. Overall the night went really well, and my ability to hold conversations has improved a lot.

My questions are:

1) How to tell being interested in you vs. being nice.

2) Is it always best to try shoot your shot with the hottest girl with the group, or the one who sends you clear signals? I just went with the flow with girl B and said fuck it and asked for her number before I left, but looking back I never made a conscious choice on pursing Girl B over Girl A.

3) How to talk to a girl who shows interest in you off the bat? I had no idea how to respond to Girl A or escalate, so I think I went the safer route, of basic non-game conversation with Girl B, keeping it to safe topics. I've tried teasing a bit recently with other girls but I've had zero success, where I've been getting better at conversation in general, so I was able to keep it flowing pretty without any awkward silences. I think I may of been thrown off by Girl A if she was sending signals, so I wasn't sure what to do.

Attempt at Answering own questions:

1) I don't think you can, you should just shoot your shot with whichever girl you want, not caring if she's just being nice or not. I think my mistake here was I just went with the flow without intention.

2) Clear signals is probably the best route, since it improves odds for success.

3) I wasn't sure how to engage with Girl A so I didn't respond, I think as I get better at game and directing the conversation I should pursue the hotter girl using game from where I practiced. I was also hesitant to purse girl A since I see her twice a week at this group, and it would have sucked if I messed it up, but Girl B was just there with Girl A so it felt like the safer option.

Study the book. It already answers these questions.

@Steve2002

Will approaching work at university?

I have newly enrolled into university, delayed it 2 years because I needed to work in order to save up for a hair transplantation. This university of mine is fully loaded with good looking girls, and I have above avarage looks(around 7/10), I did approaches in other places, they were good. But in my understanding, approaching is kind of "reserved" for only happen in the WILD, not in a non-primitive, prestigeous place like the university. My strategy would be "targeting" 5-6 girls who seem to be the best for me, then approach them (ideally all of them). But my biggest fear is that I approach a girl, then she rejects me, and tells her friends that I tried the approach, then in a few days the whole university knows about the incident. After that I can see when I will succeed with another one of them.. like never . So in my understanding having this kind of prejudice against me that I am a serial killer (serial approacher) in a secluded community like university , is somewhat of a death sentence in a preselection sense which is in the top 5 factors of attraction. But if it works, then I might end up in a wild roller coaster/endless loop of success. So I'm planning to try approaching, but also interested about hearing some expert inputs on this.

Study the book and approach the girls who you find interesting as you see fit. If you're attending university in the U.S. and find the interactions with the girls on your campus to be stale, consider trying the nearby junior colleges for a change. Best of luck to ya.

@kardon93

So how do you deal with an attractive women that is extremely interested in you?

Hey there guys, I have had girls going crazy for me, but it was always ugly or at max 6/10 HBs. Literally simping.

However Right now theres this 8/10 HBB at my work whos been simping me hard. Went on a date few days and everything went great, she wants to date again tomorrow.

Wierd thing I never dealed with a girl showing such high interest before that i actually liked back, and I havent found any guide about how to deal with women on this stance (High interest plus just starting to date).

I get texted all day from her, even If i take 8 hours to respond and try to cut it off a bit, i get almost instant responses and shes always trying to talk more.

I been applying a few dread game, and seems to be working fine, but dont wanna mess up cause every girl that I simped before I considered them ugly enough to just be ignored. Cheers.

Study the book. I generally don't encourage guys to pursue female coworkers simply due to how it can blow up in a guys face with so many chicks being psychotic. As you've already done so, I suggest that you update your resume and prepare to look for another job if this turns south.

@king10

Books to read after Sidebar

I've read the sidebar on the redpill subreddit, can someone give me a solid guide on anything else I should read? Should I read the top articles on the redpill subreddit? Or The rational male book? Or is just the sidebar enough?

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Artila

Plate doing nuclear comfort tests/something else?

Been spinning this plate for about a year and there's oneitis involved now, I was thinking about promoting to ltr. This bitch is very scarce when it comes to shittests but comfort tests ALL the time. She's painfully insecure, and it doesn't help that my lifestyle naturally fuels dread I guess.

A week ago we went out and had a great time all around, she slept over at my house but we went to hers in the morning so she could make us breakfast. We were planning on watching a movie afterwards, and when I advised doing it back at my house she sarcastically asked if it's beause her house is dirty/lame compared to mine. I scoffed it off, we went out so she could walk her dog and when we were back in front of her house I said "leave the dog, take the keys and come back to my house, I'll be there". She straight up said "No." Okay, see you soon then, and I started walking back home. She stopped me for a second visibly flabbergasted and asked "Seriously??", to which I replied something like "Yeah, I don't understand, do you want me to wait for you or?", and she just went back inside saying "nevermind then".

I sent her a random message a few hours later, not knowing that it was seemingly a big deal for her - she ghosted me, it's been 8 days without a reply now. Do I call to see what's up? I have a feeling if I don't this might be the end, and it's a really retarded thing to end the relationship over. On the other hand, what if it's just a shittest? Do I wait?

To answer my own question, calling her this one time might not be too beta of me but definitely hardnext it it happens again

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.