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WHERE IS THE SIDEBAR? I NEED IT TO GET PLATES
[askTRP] [Rant/vent]
Okay, so I had the hardest time finding the sidebar today, it really shouldn't be this difficult. It directly impacted my ability to find some plates today as well, like, what the actual fuck?
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Okay, so this is what happened:
I read some posts on this forum about lifting, so I went to the gym because I figured that that's where the sidebar would be because the gym and TRP are related.
I also read about cold approaching at the gym all the time on here so I thought I'd get myself some plates there while I'm at it.
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I WAS WRONG
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One thing went wrong after the other, it was like clockwork.
So first of all, I didn't know what a sidebar looks like. I found a deadlift bar, a bench press bar, even an adjustable bar for doing curls, but no sidebar anywhere to be seen. Like, are you guys trolling me about the sidebar or something? Like dayum
...
At this rate I was getting pretty annoyed. I did my entire workout without seeing a sidebar anywhere, so I abandoned my first mission and instead I asked two nearby guys where I can get some plates.
One of the guys, we'll call him 'Dickface', because he didn't help me much at all, pointed me towards some 45 lb weights that go on bars.
I thought he heard me wrong because clearly he wasn't pointing at any hot women, let alone not even a HB5. Like, come on, Dickface, I can find weights by myself, he had to have been mocking me.
I said in response, "bruh those aren't plates." Then Dickfaces's friend, who I'll call "Pokerface" because of his deadpan seriousness, when he he obviously followed up by joking even further, said that "those actually were plates".
But Pokerface said it all polite and what not, which really grinded my gears because those definitely weren't chicks, or even people for that matter, they were weights. He had to have known that 100% before he trolled me like that in front of everyone.
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At this point, I'm not just annoyed, but indignant about it. So I told them, "How the fuck am I supposed to spin these plates man?" They both feigned confusion and asked me what I was talking about. Obviously they were either really blue-pilled and still plugged into the mattix or Chad and Brad that needed to get off their high horse.
Knowing at least the first rule of TRP, I said, "first rule of fight club, don't talk about fight club". Then they started posturing and said "hey man, we don't want any trouble". Like, what was that about? I was just quoting TRP
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A female personal trainer, A.K.A. Karen, then came by and asked what the problem was and if she could help me. I told her that "I can't find the sidebar and that it would be great if she could personally help me with getting laid right now"
Her and Dickface and Pokerface just gave me the dirtiest looks and then Karen called me a creep and said she was kicking me out. Like what the fuck? She's a personal trainer, she can't personally help me with plate advice there?
She works at the gym, she should have advice on how I can get laid with plates there. Her panties must have really been riled up in a bunch before I even got there or something, because I was being polite and reasonable despite my growing inpatience with that whole fiasco.
I tried to hold frame by saying "no you won't" and she gave me one of these "shit tests" about getting security. I couldn't agree and amplitude fast enough before she stormed off.
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Well, while Karen and Dick and Pokerface stormed off, I decided to try to spin those "plates" they were talking about, maybe that just attracts nearby women or something. Well, one of the "plates" slipped and rolled into some dad's younger daughter's foot and she screamed and started crying.
At this point everyone is just pissed at me so I start booking it out of there before the off-chance anyone might misperceive that was my fault. Afterall, I asked about spinning plates before and no one really helped me know how. They said I was banned on my way out, which sucked.
That was the only gym in my town so now I'm royally fucked. How am I supposed to lift now and make gains? I just wanted plates today, what was their problem?
...
Anyway, sorry for the rant. Where was I supposed to find the sidebar at the gym? It really shouldn't have been that hard if everyone that lifts knows about it but me.
I'm so confused.
TL;DR sidebar was too hard to find at the gym and Karen and some gym bros made it so that I couldn't lay any plates there because of it. Where was I supposed to be able to find it at the gym?
Read Moreloool for fuck sake I’m a moron.
Accidentally responding seriously to a post on the Satire tribe from the "hot" feed is practically a rite of passage on here now. I faceplanted hard into this trap before, and caught myself in the nick of time more than once since.
I was 53 years old. I'd been a fan of Shrek ever since the first movie came out in 2001, though I may have been somewhat older than the target audience.
My wife of 33 years hated my devotion to Shrek. In hindsight, I can kind of see why. She'd ask why I liked Shrek so much, to which I could only reply:
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
One day, she had enough and dropped a nuclear shit test upon my masculine alpha-wolf sigma-frame:
Shrek is for children, and you're a baby. You're also a giant faggot.
I seethed in my masculine anger and manly aggression, but held oak-Skittles-Man-frame.
fuck you, you stupid bitchy cunt! I hope you and your mother die in a fiery car crash!
...I replied, calmly and rationally.
Then, she insulted me with the worst insult imaginable:
You don't go well.
As masculine manly tears welled up in my eyes whilst my iron heart was torn asunder, the advice of our marriage counselor echoed within my perfectly calm and rational alphasigma brain:
share your feelings. don't be afraid to be vulnerable.
I dropped to my knees, sobbing.
honey, when you say such things, you harm me to the very quick of my masculine soul!
To which she hypergamously shit tested:
You don't go well, at all. You're a giant baby who's obsessed with a baby movie franchise. And Shrek is retarded.
As I sobbed my manly tears of seething vexation, through the snot i suddenly smelled onions. A familiar voice came through the wall:
I think you need to leave, you awful bitch.
It was Shrek!
The wall bust in, Kool-Ade Man style, and there in is ogre glory he stood, his eshrekt penis glistening in the light.
WHAT. THE. FUUUUUUUUUCK?!
...my wife screamed.
She ran out of the house, jumped in the car, and burned on out of the driveway.
The massive ogre turned his attention to me. I was already on my knees, and I wanted to please the ogrelord.
I presented myself to him like a female red-assed baboon in heat.
As he entered me and began thrusting, I passed out from the pain.
I woke up in the ICU. As my ultrasigma mind recalled the events that led me there, tears of joy streamed down my face. They smelled vaguely of swamp gas and onion juice.
Shrek is love.
Shrek is life.
Read MoreAh yes, semen retention
The god mode of alpha male. It is the only way to obtain powers beyond comprehension
@Vermillion-Rx Now you are inspiring me to go further and do better. Perhaps I need to improve my frame and go no nut?
Retain all that semen. Give no power to women and keep it all inside. Just try her from a few angles. Then withdraw and with amused mastery let her know in what ways she didn't meet the grade for nutting. No man ever did that to her before. Leave her totally Alpha widowed.
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Ah, I knew Chadfux would be the voice of reason since I went kind of light in my assessment
Yes, giga chads only accept blowjobs and do not fuck women.
Giga chads only live for their pleasure and do not reward women with even one pump. Their vagina should only tingle at the pleasure or presence or thought of the giga chad, and never from direct vaginal stimulation unless it is a sheer accident
The giga chad is stoically in control of the urge of his nut and doesn't need to fuck because he is complete control of his sexual spirit
Regular chads need a few pumps, because they lack giga sigma oak fux apex lord frame
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@Vermillion-Rx I am worried it might be a bit simpy to come quickly. Its like she has you in her power. Beta's nut fast because they are overcome by gaining access to her hotness. Then she knows she can rule them.
Alphas put her through a range of uncomfortable positions pile driving away for their own pleasure, pausing when they like for a blowjob to lift their boredom before deciding if she is hot enough to make them bother to nut. At the end she will be begging them to release her by coming. Then once you have cleaned your cock up on her curtains (make sure she sees this), you can tell her how she can do better next time.
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See where you fucked up was thinking 3 pumps is the safe pump count for not seeming invested but it's actually 1 and a half. One semi pump to show half effort and than one deep thrust to release your nut
2 full ones will have her wondering why you care so much about her pleasure instead of your own
What a simp.
If you don't use protection at all you are allowed 3 pumps. You done fucked up
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Went on a date last night.
Brought her flowers and chocolates. Also wore my fedora for a +1 SMV boost.
Tipped my fedora at the bar tender as I arrive and called her m'lady. Instant social proof and pre-selection established.
We sat and talked for a while about my feelings and how much I respect women. After 34 minutes (I timed on my smartwatch) her body language - cross armed, mostly on her phone - indicated she was ready for the next step.
I then began the fool-proof playbook playbook, courtesy of @Typo-MAGAshiv
By the time I handed her the onion, she asked if she could come back to my place.
We get to my place and I show her my collection of funko pops. Bitches love funko pops.
I then proceed with the guide, fall to my knees and start crying.
As expected, after my snow angels (done slowly for extra alpha-ness) the lightswitch effect kicks in and she goes from mildly interested to sexually charged nympho.
She asks me to remove my fedora and if I have a condom. Obviously a a test of frame.
I tell her "Baby, the fedora stays on".
I don't have any condoms. I do this purposely as an example of pre selection because obviously I get so much pussy. So instead I use a chocolate bar wrapper I had on the side from earlier.
After 3 pumps the deed is done. For newbies - any longer and any pleasure the woman receives will be interpreted as weak frame. You must show your prime seed is ready to be delivered swiftly and that you don't care about her pleasure.
She hurriedly leaves. Good, I don't need plates wasting my valuable time. I need to call my discord waifu shortly.
I call her and she doesn't answer. No worry. I leave a 10 minute voicemail telling her that I love her and that we were destined to be together.
She hasn't returned my calls and looks like she has blocked me, but probably just playing hard to get.
All in all, decent lay and a good field report from newbies.
Read More@MentORPHEUS what kind of cuck chair gamma-delta-omega crap is this?
Why are you just sitting there watching them?
You get your ass in there and hump them both, so they know who the top alpha-sigma-ligma is.