Just a woman trying to get men's perspectives, even though I don't agree with most of them
Relationship Philosophy:
I deserve the best and I won't settle for less.
Dating as a woman is hard in 2024, what can I do to get men to fix their shit?
[AskTRP] [Question for TRP]
Hey guys, I'm a 34 yo woman in upscale New York City. I've lived here for almost all of my adult life. I am a senior manager at a prestigious newspaper in the USA (not going to doxx myself) and am very proud of my career and I make 6 figures and am an independent and successful woman.
I browsed Female Dating Strategies until they got banned and realized that it might be time to get some male perspective on dating. I have had a few relationships in my early 20s but since then I haven't gotten a man to settle down with me. I also can't find one that supports unducumented immigrants and human rights issues. I'm also vegan and I want a man who cares about the issues that are most important to me.
I want children and I feel the anxiety of my time running out. The problem is that most men I date now are just fuckboys or are intimidated by my career. I'm starting to feel hopeless. Of the men that want to commit to me, I am just not attracted to them. They are usually average to cute but I just don't feel a spark or they have some views I just can't agree with, like how there isn't a gender pay gap or they think Christine Blasey Ford is a liar or don't even know who she is when I takk about it passionately on the first date.
I'm not sure why the men that treat me the best just don't turn me on and not what I want. Usually 3 or 4 dates in these men begin to ghost me and tell me it's not really going anywhere. I mean.... I'm not about that hookup life, I am not dating for sex and by the 4th date if they make it that far with me I just feel so pressured to give them sex and I just am not that kind of woman and I tell them that but they don't want a relationship with me and I can't figure out why.
I'm starting to get really frustrated because the men I am attracted to are commitment-phobic and don't want children. I ask them why and they tell me I'm not feminine enough and that I'm too combative. I don't understand why every man I want to date and am actually having a spark with has such sexist and degenerate 1950's attitudes.
Where are all the good men that respect an independent and successful woman? I'm tired of non-committal men. It makes me sick. Also why are there so few men that make 6 or 7 figures? I worked hard to get where I am and my dating pool is just so small. There aren't any successful single men making 7 figures any more.
I asked my FWB of a year and still going for advice recently and he just ignored my message for days and responded with unhelpful advice and telling me to wear something cute to his place. His place isn't even in a good part of the city and he has roommates. I live alone and he won't drive to see me.
I'm tired of this. I deserve the best and I am not interested in casual sex. I don't think my FWB is going to be willing to talk about it at his place this weekend, if he doesn't cancel on me like he usually does anyway.
What am I doing wrong? i worked hard to be where I am and I want a husband and children. I only want a serious relationship, I deserve that but I can't find one. Time is running out.
Thanks
Read MoreOkay wow. This is my first post on this site, and I was expecting some helpful comments.
I'm a high value woman. I own my own condo. I am completely independent. I workout some times.
I'm not dropping my standards after all the years I spent on my career. How can I get men to step up and fix their shit??
Do you have any helpful advice or are you just going to try to belittle me because I'm a woman?
I appreciate the attempt at a thorough response but this comment seems a bit sarcastic.
I have traveled to many countries already. I already found myself. I've backpacked in many continents and I've met a lot of cool and interesting men on my travels. I don't appreciate the vulgar misogynistic undertones here.
I'm not perfect but I know my worth. You shouldn't shame women for their experiences. Just because I had some fun but brief memories with some men in other countries doesn't make me worth less.
I've learned so much from different cultures and these experiences only made my standards for open-minded men higher. Where do I find single men who are ready for me, i don't know what I'm doing wrong, I'm starting to think it's them
I don't have any children yet, as my post indicates.
i have had IUDs for 15 years to be responsible. I only want children with a man that gives me my worth to who meets my income and physical standards and supports women's rights and has acceptable views
Why is this community so hostile to women? I'm just asking a question
@Lone_Ranger You're right I deserve the best. I need to tell men how high value I am and make it more clear that I expect them to be even more valuable. 6 feet or more 6 figures or more, 6 i*ch down below or more.
Must share all my moral and political views. Pays for everything, only dates me, doesn't text any other women, doesn't show any vulnerability at all, has never cried in his life. Always lets me win the arguments. I deserve the best.
You're right, who hurt you guys? And it's a relief to hear that I can finally tell men abouty excursions in other countries. I haven't wanted to be slut-shamed for backpacking with charming men, exotic men. I don't want to keep hiding beach and world wonder experiences I've had
Exploring my sexuality as a woman should be something i share without shame because I'm a high value woman, not a tramp
Read MoreNow that you are dating with a purpose, you must remember to never get intimate with the guys you date until at least 5 dates.
I'm at FWB's place right now and he agrees with you that I should test men for 5 dates. He said I already have sex in my life so I shouldn't feel pressured to give men my body in exchange for nothing. I want commitment. I don't want to go to time waster's places before they become my boyfriend.
And don't settle for dates like a 'walk in the park' or 'coffee dates'.
This is all good advice. A guy took me to a 4 star lobster and wine dinner on our 4th date and I just wasn't feeling it. There was a 5 star one just a few blocks away an i felt so I embarrassed sitting with him knowing he was that broke
And don't settle for dates like a 'walk in the park' or 'coffee dates'.
Thank you <3
Read Moregurl, women age like fine wine - once you are 40 you will be so independent and your twin flame soul mate will sense your goddess energy. You'll manifest him in no time.
So I have to wait 6 more years? My 401k and income will be even higher by then, you're right it should be easier to impress a high value man with my status and career sttength 6 years from now as compared to me today at age 34.
I just don't understand why men my age seem to like 25 year olds. Are they just stupid or fooled by younger women? I'm not sure what they finding appealing about women 10 years younger. It's just creepy and predatory
You had me in the first half and i thought you were really sweet for that explanation, but i deserve the best
I am the wealthiest women in most guys circles, I'm not at peak fertility but I know a fertility clinic, I'm kind to men that deserve my kindness and have earned it from me by the 2nd date or if I'm really really attracted to them, nurturing? That's a patriarchy term, I expect men to abandon their outdated gender stereotypes and archaic expectations. Of course I'll be the best mother, I'm the best.
you're come across like a misogynistic incel, it's 2024, check your privilege
Because we all know that penetration is rape, and that there is no such thing as consensual PIV interactions between women and men, due to historic gender power imbalances and the patriarchy, and stuff like that.
This ^ No woman wants to feel like she wouldn't have consented if she knew a man wouldn't give her aftercare or text her back afterwards. It's basically assault through omission if all he wanted was sex when it's all done with
Everyone here: @Lone_Ranger @Lionsmane8 @Typo-MAGAshiv
And kind of @First-light until he showed how much of a misogynistic incel he was
Gave me really good advice! Oh sounds like I will finally get a man in my 50s and especially if I focus really hard on my career, traveling, and being more sexually open-minded with exotic men. I might shoot for kids for the right FWB, but for now I'm going to freeze my eggs because I deserve the best.
I'll be sure to ask for advice here now instead of Female Dating Strategies, most of you guys were so nice to me <3
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Just a woman trying to get men's perspectives, even though I don't agree with most of them
I deserve the best and I won't settle for less.