@Machiaspinner

Am i paranoid or i need to trust my. gut feelings

Hello everyone , hope you are doing very well .

I am really in a fucked up mental paranoia right now , your advice would help that will really sooth me .

I am with a LDR for 5 months now , she pushed for exclusivity many times (Not by the talk) but by removing all her dating apps , saying her Pussy is mine , i own her and tries to please me sexually and non sexually (Cooking etc ) etc... I gave it a try , not saying we are exclusive but i acted like we are , i dropped my 2 plates too without saying anything (I outrank her massively on SMV level ) , in addition i pay for all dates because she is a student .

All was good , because at the beginning i wasn't paying attention to what she does or she says , a plate is a plate .

Now as things became more serious , i pay more attention to texts timelapse and i feel like my oneitis is creeping in.

I tracked her ovulation phase , it's those 3 days , and by coincidence she vanishes for 9 hours (Not working , not studying this week ) , and respond when she is at home (because her parents rarely let her sleep outside) , says she was with her sister shopping , a female friend visited her and they went out and tries to keep the conversation with affection , emojis etc , good night .... I dind't buy this shit and the paranoia began AWALT.

Adding to that , she said she will send me nudes to recharge me for the next time we will meet , and she didn't (I didn't ask for them or said anything) .

To be honest i didn't sleep well 3 days in a row , i keep my sanity by running every night . I am really sure in my deepest guts this bitch is cheating (There can be no coincidence of vanishing and her ovulatory phase without cheating , the problem is i don't have a proof .... LDR ) . My dread is on point , minimal affection , coldness after thoses vanishes , she tries to keep conversations , double texts etc ....

I took a decision that i will end this mess , keep lifting and work on my career . Honestly i can't plate her , oneitis is creeping in , to restore my plates i need time , and if i open the relationship , i will be more hurt (Seems like she has many backups she is actually cheating with) .

Now , we arranged to see each other the next week (she will come to my city) to stay together for valentines and her birthday .

So i prepared a revenge plan (Beta trait but that will appease me at least ) , i will fuck her one last time , have good time , lovebomb her , do all naughty things i think of , then when i drop her at the train station i will send this message to: Hey babe , i think this long distance thing won't work , it's better to stop it now . Wish you all the best / Then go ghost without closure .

What do you think guys of my paranoia and if it's justified and my revenge plan .

You guidance and advices are very well appreciated .

"As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see."

― Gaius Julius Caesar, Commentaries on the Gallic War

I don't understand what benefit you gain in spending time and energy planning this Birthday slash St. Valentine's date with your LTR-LD-GF to just blow it up afterwards, because you're paranoid she might be seeing someone else. If you two haven't agreed to being exclusive, then focus on enjoying the time she spends with you during this date, wrap your junk, bang her brains out, then send her home with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.

Consider taking the time to actually read The Socio-Sexual Hierarchy and stop concerning yourself with doing what you believe an alpha would do. Make the time to accept that you're not an alpha, and that it's perfectly find that you never were. Don't concern yourself with if she's exclusive with you, until such a time as you're able to be around her regularly to observe her behavior firsthand.

Contrary to your current thinking, seeking revenge on others for perceived slights is gamma behavior, not Bravo/beta, and this isn't the first time you've hinted at that side of yourself.

While not at the top of the hierarchy, bravo/beta's and delta's are invaluable as they provide the knowledge and skills essential to making sure society functions as smoothly as it does. Focus on being the most capable competent man you imagine you could reasonably be. Simply because you don't see yourself at the top of yet another hierarchy, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

@sharknado

O What do you guys thing of the black pill and the rise in popularity of looksmaxxing? i'm sure you have answered this before but i am curious on what you think the importance of looks in dating is. I used to use this website when i was younger for learning game, i have grown older now and just thought i'd have a look

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

Black pilled guys strike me as working through the stages of grief, but stuck specifically on depression for some reason. It's similar to what I see with guys expressing red pill rage, they're hung up on the anger stage of grief for their own reasons. Finding out you've been lied to for most of your life forces you to reprocess a lot of past information and experience as you realign your thinking.

Looks-maxing is unsettling to me, because while being good looking has importance, guys who subscribe to it with such intensity tend to be narcissists. I think a lot of guys who subscribe to that thinking are otherwise stuck in the denial stage of grief. They know enough to grasp that the guy they are at the time of realization isn't one others will find attractive. So, they delude themselves into thinking that if they consume product, develop a body builder physique, or internalize the current media assigned thing that this will make them attractive. It doesn't go well for the ones who can't grasp that that alone isn't going to enable them to achieve their goals.

Reality is that productive men are in a constant state of revision and improvement. So long as a guy steers clear of drugs, sex, and violence during those time of reflection they'll come out of it for the better.

@Saltycroc

Plate ended things- where did I go wrong?

I've been seeing this girl since October, I met her at a halloween party, where she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I kept talking to her, went on a few dates and we had sex twice since the party. I woke up seeing she removed me on snapchat and a message from her saying "your ego is too big and its not funny any more so I'm going to remove you" I hadn't messaged her for about 5 days before this, so maybe that was the reason? Maybe I was too much of an "asshole" and didn't show enough beta qualities to keep her around longer?

is there any way to salvage this? I feel like if she was serious about ending things she would have blocked me instead of just removing me (I can still message her), but maybe that's just my big ego lol.

If not, would anyone have an idea as to where I went wrong?

Study the book. Nothing of value was lost on your part. Plates break. It's just what they do. If anything, you dodged a bullet with this one.

It reads like you both were having yourselves some nice sloppy fun until she decided to make the pseudo-dramatic online exit. Thing is, a plate exiting from your life is inevitable, so why care? You weren't looking to be exclusive with her, and her attempting to monkey branch to you from her boyfriend, she demonstrated a clear inability to be loyal.

Plate ended things- where did I go wrong?

I've been seeing this girl since October, I met her at a halloween party, where she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I kept talking to her, went on a few dates and we had sex twice since the party. I woke up seeing she removed me on snapchat and a message from her saying "your ego is too big and its not funny any more so I'm going to remove you" I hadn't messaged her for about 5 days before this, so maybe that was the reason? Maybe I was too much of an "asshole" and didn't show enough beta qualities to keep her around longer?

is there any way to salvage this? I feel like if she was serious about ending things she would have blocked me instead of just removing me (I can still message her), but maybe that's just my big ego lol.

If not, would anyone have an idea as to where I went wrong?

@brazilianxof

35 and thinking i can't make up for the lost time

Profile: 35 my, 1.86m. I make now and finally 10k a month steadly, after making no shit from 0 to 30 and some shit from 30 to 35.

I have my own middle class car and apartment.

For the past year i had a thing with a girl, that i thought was more than a "joke". Yet, she started coming up with rules, after telling stories that why she made those (ex: i dont do this because once i did and didnt go well - translation i did with other guy but you go wait over there).

The last drop was she going dinner with a dude who told her, me, and all the world he wants to date her. Although is a fat old (like 65) dude who is a work colleague, i had already expressed my opposition to this friendship, because of his overtly said intentions. After that and i saying i'm "done", she sent something basically as i'm just being annoyingly pushy and stupid and tried do make me feel bad for the guy. Well, i said basically the "stay well" and "be gone", with no more than 5 words or so.

Now i'm here at 35 rusty and i don't even know how to go flirt anymore. To be honest i feel old and ridiculous at doing so.

TLDR i feel old ugly and rusty. Im 35 and no hair. Yes i'm in shape but woman at 35-40 gap are married or traumatized and with the 25ish i feel weird

On average most relationships will end in break-ups. Some of it is due to what we've done, but much of it will also be due to what the other party did as well. Better to find out that you and her weren't compatible now, rather than after several bitter years of marriage with children, like so many other guys do.

It reads like you've got a good idea where things went wrong, both in your mate selection, and how you handled the challenge of your relationship while working to earn 10k R$ a month. I'm confident that you'll take the steps to not repeat the bad things and build on the good things you learned during that relationship. If you haven't done so, consider adding her contact info to your tech/telephone block list, packing up anything that reminds you of the ex to give to charity, and take the time you need to process this change in your life.

When you've finished mulling over things, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Machiaspinner

Situation handled well or not?

Hello guys, I need some outside perspective on a situation.

I’ve been in an FWB situation with this girl (22 yo student , low income family , 7,5/10) for about 4 months. I was vetting her for a possible LDR (even though I know LDRs rarely work). She travels to see me often (1 hour distance).

She’s feminine, in my frame , cooks, sex is good and available on demand.

I still live with my family due to their health situation. Because of that, I’ve been paying for all dates and also covering logistics, which adds extra cost.

For 4 months, the dynamic was smooth and low drama. No demands, no pressure.

Things shifted when Valentine’s Day and her birthday (same week) came up. I voluntarily suggested a plan: a nice restaurant and stay together for the week-end (because I wanted to, not because she asked) , i also had the idea to give her something cheap as a gift. During the discussion, she said: “You still have time to think about the gift.”

That line immediately hit me ( give an inch, she wants a mile) . I told her , then paying for a diner doesn’t count as a gift and it’s nothing so i need to bring a gift in addition, that’s it? She said she wanted a gift to keep and remember me. I told her it’s strange that she needs a physical object to remember me, and that if the dinner isn’t seen as a gift, I’d rather cancel it altogether. She backtracked—“No, the plan was perfect”.

I ended the conversation and shut the topic down. This situation really made me angry althought i stayed stoic on the outside.No woman has ever told me to bring a gift.

Did I handle this situatiln correctly ? Should I demote her to a plate (even though she’s currently my only one , scarcity ..)? Or is the correct move to walk away completely.

Thank you a lot folks.

She tried to manipulate you into getting gifts in addition to a costly meal out. You squashed that effort. Only time will tell whether the situation was handled well or not, but situations like that are an unavoidable part of relationships. Sadly, all females do this and you'll have to be prepared.

It reads like what you need to do is conclusively sort out what kind of relationship you've presently got with her and what sort you want to actually have. Whether it's friend with benefits, long distance relationship, plate, or something else, I leave for you both to figure out. You don't need our permission or approval whatever you decide. However, if she's not someone you've any interest in being exclusive with you shouldn't celebrate birthdays, Saint Valentine's day, or other holidays with more than a card until they're constantly introducing you to everyone they know as 'my boyfriend' on their own initiative.

Study the book. If you're planning to relocate elsewhere, it's probably for the best you cut her loose though. It frees you both to pursue the locals wherever you plan to be without concerning yourself with someone you can't physically be there for.

@FuzzyGorilla

How to deal with a dysfunctional family?

As the title states that's really what I've been wondering lately. I've considered talking with a therapist as well. I have goals I want to achieve in my own life and I'm sick of my dysfunctional family dragging me under. I'm sure some people have way worse s**t going on in their families than me, but hopefully this helps them as well.

Personally: My parents constantly fight. This has been going on since I was a kid. My father was always working and what most RP people might call a "nice guy". My mother would talk s**t about my dad often in front of me and my siblings. They would get into big arguments it seemed like on a regular basis. My father never really showed alot of love towards my mother either, or even seemed to try and fix things between both of them. I believe this affected my early dating life. I got very little if any guidance on how to approach relationships with women. Ironically one time my father actually asked ME for advice with my mother.

I don't know all the specifics but I would suspect their relationship is a dead bedroom. My mother told me relatively recently she caught my father watching porn and talking to other women on facebook. I'm not sure as to the details, accuracy, etc. I honestly think I just disassociated with this, and refused to let myself get involved. There was other more important and heavier things happening at that time as well, and I never confronted my dad on this.

They continue to get in arguments, seemingly more frequently since then. And my mother continuously accuses him of cheating or talking to "his girlfriends". I asked my father what was going on between them and he actually told me something along the lines of "this has been going on for awhile, and it's no more Mr Nice guy".

My mother acts more and more in a feminist/independent way as this drama continues, not in a motherly way as one might expect. Additionally, I continue to learn rumors and whispers of both their past history. This includes possible drug use from my father, and more disappointing is hearing rumors of my mother working as a stripper in her past.

This has affected my brother as well, I believe. I won't get into details about that, but I see his development and guidance in life just turned out worse than mine. He is doing way better for himself though lately and also seems to disassociate from this drama. I'm proud of the direction he's turned his life around in.

Again, I know this level of drama is nothing, but living with them and constantly feeling this tension just brings my mood down incredibly. I'm not depressed, I just feel betrayed by the instability. I recently started heavily drinking just to try and forget about most of this. I have since put the bottle down, but I am struggling to figure out how to deal with this still.

Part of me feels some level of responsibility to help resolve this drama, but I also like to remind myself, my parents are both approaching 70, which makes this feel beyond ridiculous they haven't fixed things themselves at this point, and being together for 30+ years.

Quite a few guys have posted about moving back in with their parents since the Covid-19 psy-op a few years back. Bizarrely enough, many also share how they're reminded of the discord and dysfunction in their parents homes which prompted them to leave to begin with. Trauma and co-dependency issues are no joke. You should make the time to understand and deal with yours when you can.

As for the situation with your parents, if you haven't started doing so, find a place of your own that's a reasonable distance from their home to relocate to. While there's nothing you can actively do to engage this matter, maybe an old dog can indeed learn new tricks. You can at least provide your surprisingly internet savvy father some sources of information to consider going forward with the links below. If he decides he wants to read any of the books these people have put out, be sure to introduce him to free ebook websites like libgen and ebook managers like Calibre.

• Doc Love's Dating Tips for Men
• Anonymous Conservative
• Richard Cooper's Entrepreneurs in Cars
• Married Red Pill
• Athol Kay
• Dr. Robert A. Glover
• Chateau Heartiste
• Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male

Best of luck to you both.