I shamelessly recycle my content from time to time. Lately it has been to help migrate some content from that other site to this one.

Anyway, this post showed up once and I couldn't help myself.

View the image and read it carefully. My writing will make more sense that way. Enjoy.

i.redd.it/5r1gqn74t1i61.jpg

My response (Edited slightly from the original):

Lord help me for saying this, but I see this woman as a challenge.

There is a part of me that would love to meet this woman and get to know her.

Slowly over a few months, spend time, be patient, do and say everything she wants to hear, and me to do.

Then after about three months, once I have gained her trust, I ghost her for a weekend without warning. This triggers her obvious anxiety issues.

Then I pick up again on Monday like nothing happened and call her. I say:

Oh, I had work to catch up on. Bygones. Come out with me on Friday.

or some shit like that.

Then a few months later, out of nowhere, I randomly joke about a threesome with her and her BFF (or even better, her younger sister if she has one). After she gets pissed I laugh it off as a joke and suddenly find a reason to leave and go home.

No contact for a few days.

Then next time we are together, I apologize, laugh it off as a bad joke, and love bomb her back into submission.

I can see a future with you baby. I just have trust issues, but you are helping me get over them. I really appreciate you.

Then the following week, start being really silent when we are together. She does 99% of the talking. I say things like

"Wow. Cool"

or

"Tell me more"

or

"Oh yeah?"

Sooner or later she picks up on this, and asks

You seem so distant lately. Is everything okay?

I mention how she is controlling and insecure, over a stupid joke about banging her sister. Which I would obviously never do. OBVIOUSLY.

My mom was a control freak and that's why I have trust issues now. I am a big unsettled, because you got all over my case over a stupid raunchy joke. I am so sad, and so conflicted - so uncertain about our future.

I mean I still love you, but I don't sense any real commitment. We have fun together, but you seem too chill about things. Like you can take me or leave me. It's all good though. You know me, I don't sweat things like this, but you DID ask me what was on my mind...

She stumbles around, rejecting my (obviously fake) claims

DD1 I freaking I love you!

ME:

I would like to believe you. But actions speak louder than words. One way to make me feel better is if we get matching tats of each others' names on our asses.

She balks,

you're joking, right?

And I say

"> See, I knew it. Look, if you have commitment issues, then so do I - I guess. Gotta go, let's talk in a few days".

Her, with mouth agape:

A few DAYS!" What the frack is going on!

I LOVE you. That's what's going on! YOU Are SOOOO CLUELESS. You are a heartless cold-blooded bitch and I cannot believe I let myself fall so hard for you. I have to go.

Then I walk out without looking back.

Run down to the local pub and have a few glasses of bourbon - Makers on the rocks will do. Listen to some music, talk to some women. Maybe even bang a chick

If I get caught..

I am so sorry. I needed "validation" - to feel like someone wants me after you fucked me over. But I swear it meant nothing. It was just meaningless sex!

No contact for a while. Let her sweat it out.

Next week, I call her up and tell her I have big news. It is super important. Act all excited.

Hey, what's up. We have dinner plans for Sat night. Dress in your best. This is big. I will pick you up at 7.

Get an empty ring box. Put a note in there. Make reservations at best place in town.

She shows up, we have a few drinks to loosen up. Smile a lot. Reach across the table, grab her hand and say:

I love you so soo much, and want to spend the rest of my life with someone like you. Just not you. That's why we have to break up. You are just too nice for me and I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. I have baggage and well, good bye.

#stunnedlook. She is speech less.

Slide the box across the table.

She looks down like I am an alien giving her future tech in a box. She just looks at me and the box as tears stream down her face. Two years of this shit. She is hurt - BADLY - but still cannot speak.

Not_what_she_expected.jpg

As she opens the box, I stand up and walk away.

Inside the box

This is me eating you alive and spitting you out while you're still screaming. "Turn over."

On the other side

You shoulda swiped left"

Yeah. That would be fun.

PS. To any male feminists, women, or white knights reading this: I would never do this IRL, but women pull this sort of thing on the regular. I just changed the genders to show how evil it looks when the shoe is on the other foot.

Not so funny now, is it.

I shamelessly recycle my content from time to time. Lately it has been to help migrate some content from that other site to this one.

Anyway, this post showed up once and I couldn't help myself.

View the image and read it carefully. My writing will make more sense that way. Enjoy.

i.redd.it/5r1gqn74t1i61.jpg

My response (Edited slightly from the original):

Lord help me for saying this, but I see this woman as a challenge.

There is a part of me that would love to meet this woman and get to know her.

Slowly over a few months, spend time, be patient, do and say everything she wants to hear, and me to do.

Then after about three months, once I have gained her trust, I ghost her for a weekend without warning. This triggers her obvious anxiety issues.

Then I pick up again on Monday like nothing happened and call her. I say:

Oh, I had work to catch up on. Bygones. Come out with me on Friday.

or some shit like that.

Then a few months later, out of nowhere, I randomly joke about a threesome with her and her BFF (or even better, her younger sister if she has one). After she gets pissed I laugh it off as a joke and suddenly find a reason to leave and go home.

No contact for a few days.

Then next time we are together, I apologize, laugh it off as a bad joke, and love bomb her back into submission.

I can see a future with you baby. I just have trust issues, but you are helping me get over them. I really appreciate you.

Then the following week, start being really silent when we are together. She does 99% of the talking. I say things like

"Wow. Cool"

or

"Tell me more"

or

"Oh yeah?"

Sooner or later she picks up on this, and asks

You seem so distant lately. Is everything okay?

I mention how she is controlling and insecure, over a stupid joke about banging her sister. Which I would obviously never do. OBVIOUSLY.

My mom was a control freak and that's why I have trust issues now. I am a big unsettled, because you got all over my case over a stupid raunchy joke. I am so sad, and so conflicted - so uncertain about our future.

I mean I still love you, but I don't sense any real commitment. We have fun together, but you seem too chill about things. Like you can take me or leave me. It's all good though. You know me, I don't sweat things like this, but you DID ask me what was on my mind...

She stumbles around, rejecting my (obviously fake) claims

DD1 I freaking I love you!

ME:

I would like to believe you. But actions speak louder than words. One way to make me feel better is if we get matching tats of each others' names on our asses.

She balks,

you're joking, right?

And I say

"> See, I knew it. Look, if you have commitment issues, then so do I - I guess. Gotta go, let's talk in a few days".

Her, with mouth agape:

A few DAYS!" What the frack is going on!

I LOVE you. That's what's going on! YOU Are SOOOO CLUELESS. You are a heartless cold-blooded bitch and I cannot believe I let myself fall so hard for you. I have to go.

Then I walk out without looking back.

Run down to the local pub and have a few glasses of bourbon - Makers on the rocks will do. Listen to some music, talk to some women. Maybe even bang a chick

If I get caught..

I am so sorry. I needed "validation" - to feel like someone wants me after you fucked me over. But I swear it meant nothing. It was just meaningless sex!

No contact for a while. Let her sweat it out.

Next week, I call her up and tell her I have big news. It is super important. Act all excited.

Hey, what's up. We have dinner plans for Sat night. Dress in your best. This is big. I will pick you up at 7.

Get an empty ring box. Put a note in there. Make reservations at best place in town.

She shows up, we have a few drinks to loosen up. Smile a lot. Reach across the table, grab her hand and say:

I love you so soo much, and want to spend the rest of my life with someone like you. Just not you. That's why we have to break up. You are just too nice for me and I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. I have baggage and well, good bye.

#stunnedlook. She is speech less.

Slide the box across the table.

She looks down like I am an alien giving her future tech in a box. She just looks at me and the box as tears stream down her face. Two years of this shit. She is hurt - BADLY - but still cannot speak.

Not_what_she_expected.jpg

As she opens the box, I stand up and walk away.

Inside the box

This is me eating you alive and spitting you out while you're still screaming. "Turn over."

On the other side

You shoulda swiped left"

Yeah. That would be fun.

PS. To any male feminists, women, or white knights reading this: I would never do this IRL, but women pull this sort of thing on the regular. I just changed the genders to show how evil it looks when the shoe is on the other foot.

Not so funny now, is it.