Preface: 31M Virgin. Have yet to have any success.

Please try to stop defining yourself as a virgin. It won't last forever, and why bother?

You're just a guy who hasn't had sex yet. No big deal. I lost my virginity very late too, it doesn't matter.

Have been implementing some advice from my last post and landed a date through acting confident/aloof with a girl I work with.

"Work with" is terrible, you know that right? I'll continue, but this is a major fuckup.

First date went well, acted confident/did kino. Ended the date by kissing her, and she was super into it.

Ok, so top respect here. That's a solid date plan: escalate to kissing. If you can get that far, you are literally 90% of the way to sex. This is the hardest part: getting dates and kissing that she's into.

Well fucking done.

Said we should get dinner, maybe hang at her or my place that night. She laughed and said nice try.

Ok, so here we go with the LMR.

Dinner is terrible. You're expected to pay and noone looks good eating. It's straight into provider behaviour. You know better.

As regards your place or her place: you were vague and had no plan. That's fine, this is a first date.

Here's a good line for you: "I'd like to continue this, we can go back to mine, but no funny business". You instantly steal her line, and you look high value and choosy, and you've taken sex off the table.

She's a colleague. First date sex can go around the office. She knows this. You know this. This is expected.

Made my first mistake, I went on vacation the next day so I didn’t text/contact her for a week.

Fucking terrible. You keep in touch that night "Get home safe girl". You text the next day "I really enjoyed last night". That's it - you're not pushing for a date, you're just reassuring her that you had a good time.

I think the main issue here is that due to circumstance there was too long between first and second date.

Nah, that can work. But the no contact is bad.

Since I’ve been back I’ve been trying to get her on a second date three times. She seems kinda into it but never initiates.

Three times? That makes no sense. If she's interested, it's easy.

Her never initiating is normal - she's female. They basically don't initiate with men until you've fucked them, it's just how they're wired.

One time I asked her for dinner

Dinner is terrible, why are you paying for her food?

the next day and she asked me to come over right away to help get a spider out of her bathroom. I told her I was busy with friends and would come over in 3ish hours.

WHAT

THE

FUCK.

Ok, so let's establish facts here. She has "a spider" in her bathroom. She can ask a neighbour or about 100 other male friends to remove it. Instead she asks you to come over, a guy who has recently been on a hot date with her.

To come over.

To her house.

To remove a spider that honestly she could remove herself.

You understand what's going on here right? You're not completely retarded?

Two hours she texts me she took care of it and didn’t need help anymore.

Right. You turned down her BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS OFFER OF SEX and for some weird reason she went off the idea of sex with you.

Tried to reschedule with her over a call, and she seemed into dinner and movie at my place a couple days later.

So let's see..... she wants you to come over RIGHT NOW, and you're moving back to dinner and movie. Uh huh.

Day of, she cancelled saying she was tired and had work early the next morning. I called her and told her she should still come over, it’ll be fun.

Never do this. If she says no, you say "that's cool, I'm going to hit a bar" or something. You don't offer, you don't persuade.

The reasons they give are often bullshit anyway, so no point arguing about it.

She said no, and I think I let a little frustration come out and said cool, have a good night, and hung up. Pretty sure it’s not happening, but if she texts me I’ll reengage, but I have no plans reaching out again.

Good chance she met someone else

Questions: 1) Is there anyway to bridge the gap when there’s a long time between dates?

Yes, see above.

2) Did I fuck up not dropping what I was doing to come over to her house right away?

Oh yes my dude, you really did.

Answering my own questions: 1) No, I should just plan better so there’s no long amounts of time between dates.

Nope, long gaps is fine.

2) I don’t think so, I think it would have been a wimpy thing to do to drop everything and run over to her house.

Yeah, totally wimpy to go over and accept a girl's invite to be alone with her in her house.

Dude, she didn't say "come fix my plumbing" or "come over and fix my car" ...... it's a fucking spider. I bet when you got there, she'd have it removed.

You want to really not get into her frame, you do a swap. "Ok, I'll remove your spider, I bet it's fucking terrifying. Wear something nice for me." Now you've set the frame as a date.

Overall pleased with how the first date went,

You should be, you did great.

but very discouraged because I thought I was finally going to lose my V card.

I know this is a big ask, but here's the thing. You're going to build a life of sexual abundance. Lots of sexual opportunities. There's going to be lots of girls. It's not about the next girl or even the next 10 girls, you're building yourself and your life to get lots of women, and the virginity thing doesn't really matter - so stop making it matter.

Going to try to put myself back out there soon but haven’t had any other success besides this one. Thanks y’all.

Well, you've done a lot right.

And a lot wrong.

That's ok, it's all a journey.

Avoid colleagues though.

And this girl? Just be friendly and polite, and stop inviting her out.