@taya2002

LDR Girl Brought Up Moving — Now She’s Stressed That It’s “Real”

I know I'll be scorched here as LDRs are frowned upon, and not considered as real relationships, but this is the situation that I am in.

So, been in a long-distance relationship she’s visited me a couple times — things always go well in person. She was the one who brought up closing the distance and moving to my country. Her words: she doesn’t want us to keep visiting and then one day ask, “Why are we even doing this?”

I started looking for an apartment with that in mind. When I told her I found a place and might sign, she suddenly got stressed. Said it made things feel “real.” No breakdown, just visible tension. She even started seeing a therapist about it. Which suggested for her to take things very slow.

We had a call yesterday. She said her job situation is the biggest concern — figuring out remote work or how to land something here. Logical concerns, sure. I put emphasis on not feeling pressured and that we can go with the flow, while also comforting her and that I want her to move here. But there was no emotional reciprocity from her side. She was glad we had the talk, mentioning that it was comforting, but for me it felt the opposite and gave me even more ambiguity. We haven't spoken much after this.

I’ve paid for most of the trips, but we agreed long-term we’d split costs. Still, I’m the one putting in most of the material investment so far. Now she’s talking about the move more like a logistical challenge than something she’s emotionally committed to.

Question: Is this just normal pressure hitting her, or is this the first sign she’s pulling back?

My take: When fantasy meets reality, people show their true calibration. She liked the idea — but now that I’m making moves, she’s reacting with stress, not certainty. That’s not a great signal. I’m watching closely, but I won’t chase.

You need to seriously study the book, before you follow-through and import this girl you've met a few times to your country to live with you. You're clearly very interested in her, but you've only known of each other for five months and met a few times. The problem isn't that you're chasing, but that you're lead footing thing. If you don't curb your enthusiasm, this one-itis you've developed may lead to you alienating this female against you.

If she's telling you that her therapist, of all people, is suggesting she slow down, then take your foot off the accelerator and cultivate a few hobbies to occupy your mind. Few relationships fail because the couple took their time. Allow yourselves a few more months to get to know each other.

@Durek_The_Bald

@Noidea

Should I end it or keep going?

Took another very long break from dating. Now I met a girl, went out, all good. She has a few red flags, but were not here for a LTR right.

The thing is, Im so unstable at the moment, that little, unseemingly things send me into a emotionally downward spiral. Were I ask myself afterwards if I actually went insane. It think it would all be a lot easier with abundance but I haben't taken any measures yet to build that up.

So Im wondering if I should keep going with her or end it and start clean from the beginning, i.e. with step 1: Build abundance by upping the approach- and online dating game.

(I cant post in the AskTRP forum apperantly)

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Looks like he was made aware of the book several months ago. While I can't say whether he's read it or not, it's good to regularly re-read, if not study, useful books to keep the material fresh in ones mind. So thank you for encouraging him.

@noidea Good on you for getting back into the dating game.

One of the biggest challenges in life is not letting disappointment and failure affect you such that you stop dating forever. A lot of females out there are messed up in the thinking meat even so far as taking psychotropic medications to suppress their delusions, so if your gut is telling you something is wrong about a gal, don't second guess that feeling. It might be the only warning you ever get before disaster strikes. Better to find out you're not a match when dating, than after several years of marriage with children. You lose nothing by avoiding being drawn into the maelstrom of someone else's dysfunctional life, especially as you claim to be working to sort out your own.

Being able to make the best informed decisions you can is one of the few actual freedoms we have in life. Regardless of what choice you make, take some solace in knowing that you don't need our permission to make them, just as we take solace in knowing we're not otherwise obliged to cater to your whims. Regardless, keep asking other females out until you find those who're better matches.

@Nich2022

Anyone ever fumble a genuine good girl? Regrets

Anyone ever fumble a good girl? At the time I wanted an OLTR and she actually agreed to it . Becuase in her words, I have many other great qualities and she understands man’s need for variety. Idk how I pulled that off on a “conservative” Lol

She was a traditional conservative girl who in my eyes was a solid 8 due to natural beauty. Cooked, cleaned, wanted family, hot, fit, nurturing, etc only questionable thing was her bc which was about 10 and maybe 8 with whom she did other sexual things with (she told me this, but who knows for sure, didn’t really bother me much).

We were officially together for 2 years and dated for about 1 years before but it wasn’t all good.

We argued mainly due to my ego and wanting more from her (even though she already gave a lot). Plus, she was almost perfect besides us arguing about the OLTR stuff at times and some other things I thought was nagging.

Long story short, she got fed up and started causing issues over small things. Me being stubborn, and me not wanting to compromise much and she eventually left.

Now I’m filled with regret. I even said I’d stop the OLTR stuff (because I genuinely was getting tired of it) but that didn’t matter.

She’s in the epiphany phase. But I own up to my mistakes and tried to get her back but that pushed her away.

Has anyone ever lost a good girl in your eyes? Did you ever find someone better?

This doesn’t make me angry more so angry at myself. So no RP rage. Women are awesome and I’d love to have another experience like that. I’m well experienced with hooks up and situaionships but I’ve never connected with woman like this, and someone I could be my full self with. Maybe that’s my problem.

She moved on quick and basically became cold. I’m flabbergasted by how much we connected then now nothing.

Answer to myself: Yes it happens to the best of us. You just have to take the lessons and don’t make the same mistakes. You were comfortable with her and that’s what you’re trying to recreate. Get comfortable with yourself in the beginning with any new chick and those feelings may arise again.

"I wanted an open long term relationship and she actually agreed to it... She was a traditional conservative girl... solid eight... Cooked, cleaned, wanted family... only questionable thing was her body-count... maybe eight with whom she did other sexual things with (She told me this... didn't really bother me much)... together for over 2 years... she got fed up... and she eventually left."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90

@Noonenoname

Girl disappeared now shes back

Below is my conversation with a girl I met at an event:-

==

[02/05, 17:15] ME - Hi how are you? SC was a blast I met some really cool people

[02/05, 17:19] : Hi there … it was super fun

[02/05, 17:29] .:Me- Yeah it was let's find a time to meet again

[02/05, 17:55] : Cool

[02/05, 17:55] : Are you based in ?

[02/05, 17:56] .: Me- I live in but I come to quite regularly. How about you?

[02/05, 17:58] :

[02/05, 18:22] .:Me - Cool whens good for us to meet? I'm available next weekend if that works?

[02/05, 18:23] : I can do at some point between 12-3on Saturday

[02/05, 18:31] ME- Sounds good so is Saturday 10th May ok?

[03/05, 08:28] : Should be good

[03/05, 08:28] : I just need to sort my daughter on the train at some point

[03/05, 13:52] Me - Ok where shall we meet?

(11 Days later:-)

[14/05, 18:50] : I’m so so sorry [14/05, 18:50] : Had a terrible bout of hay fever / cold… whatever it was - was not good. Hope you’re alright.

==

Should I answer "Hi I'm good no worries hope you're feeling better now. Let's meet Saturday 24th?"

Reads like her near two week long instant messaging disappearance was a god send. Now you have an idea as to how little interest she has in you. So, do yourself a favor and just let that momentum carry you off without any further replies. She's got a kid you didn't sire that she's already given you heads up she will use as a shield against you getting close to her. Good news is, you've got even more time to study the book, because this is where you should move on and...

@alchemist

What do you do with a plate that goes out without you?

Exhibit A: I've dealt with plates that go out without me, complete and utter red flag, I know, but if it's not your wife so-to-say, why would you care? Especially when you're 1 to 2 SMV points above them, and they have high obedience to you. Meaning; if you're traveling, they ask when you'll be back, or the weekend rolls around and they text you what your plans are, etc.

In my experience my previous plate was just like this, and eventually I couldn't deal with it because she wanted commitment, knowing damn well I won't commit to a Thursday, Friday, Saturday regular bar-goer (even though I previously worked at that bar- women and men are not the same - if she wanted to be with the "girls" she could have just socialized at her apartment with them and called it a night, or went out to the movies, any other past time for fucks sake).

Recently, what led me to this post is I have a new plate now, she's so far been very obedient, agreeable, and submissive, no known skeletons so far. Nevertheless, last time I came over to her's she briefly skid past the fact that she went out the weekend prior. I think that Saturday (day after we banged) and I hadn't received an invite then to join. Ok, I put it on the backburner, clearly some new poison brewing I thought. I smash and dash, go out the same Friday night, then explore my options the following Saturday night.

A week later, same old wyd text on Friday, same routine follows. Then, Saturday night, I see her out at the bar towards the end of the night - but, she did mention to me that she'd go out and asked if I wanted to join, I said I was with my brother for dinner (which I was earlier) and declined said I was going to busy, because I set the frame not them, unless they earn it I won't drop my plans and close my options unless it's a total dime which we all know doesn't exist.

When I saw her out, she was with her gay friend (I know he's gay A. because of the attire, and B. she mentioned him) but regardless, you're out where there's other men, that's like your employee using the company business card on his vacation miles, that man's lost the promotion when he comes back, in my mind the girl loses her "commitment" upgrade opportunity.

But, what's different with this plate than my last one is she apologized the day after said: "Hey, sorry if I seemed off the last night seeing you totally caught me by suprise. I didn't mean to be wierd, just froze a bit. Hope we're good!"

Okay... at least you recognize the bad behavior, then I weigh the pros and cons of said chick, so far. And even that's strange in this case, she said randomly "btw I've been celibate for 2 years" right after the first time we banged. Then she comes from a single mother household, told me explicitly she has daddy issues, yet always talks positively about her dad and last Fri before I came helped him with some things. Then, says she's been celibate yet has some distinguished bedroom skills (to say the least). This chick is literally a walking oxymoron/ contradiction. Goes out, yet apologizes...

I'm sort of stumped where to move on from here. Continue recreational routine? Should I be more concerned/ put my foot down in some way, or do I have no right? I know some of y'all will say I don't have the right to make it closed on her end and not mine. Though I haven't claimed her, I don't enjoy assuming she's out there talking to other men. What would you do in this scenario?

My attempt to answer: spin the plate until it inevitably falls, every woman has skeletons in their closets, some just have graveyards. When I notice red flags, they instantly reveal disqualifiers, bad habits are very likely to be repeated. Continue having fun, if you sense disrespect give her 2 strikes, cut ties if no resolution or reconciliation follows.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Making Comics: Storytelling Secrets of Comics, Manga and Graphic Novels

"Magnificent! The best how-to manual ever published." — Kevin Kelly, Cool Tools

The renowned author of Understanding Comics offers brilliant instruction on how to actually create this widely beloved art form.

Scott McCloud tore down the wall between high and low culture in 1993 with Understanding Comics, a massive comic book about comics, linking the medium to such diverse fields as media theory, movie criticism, and web design. In Reinventing Comics, McCloud took this to the next level, charting twelve different revolutions in how comics are generated, read, and perceived today. Now, in Making Comics, McCloud focuses his analysis on the art form itself, exploring the creation of comics, from the broadest principles to the sharpest details (like how to accentuate a character's facial muscles in order to form the emotion of disgust rather than the emotion of surprise.) And he does all of it in his inimitable voice and through his cartoon stand–in narrator, mixing dry humor and legitimate instruction. McCloud shows his reader how to master the human condition through word and image in a brilliantly minimalistic way. Both comic book devotees and the uninitiated will marvel at this journey into a once–underappreciated art form.

You can find mention of this book on both Youtube and other websites.

#2004 #MakingComics #StorytellingSecretsofComicsMangaandGraphicNovels #FirstEdition #ScottMcCloud #World #US #America #Books #eBooks #Nonfiction #Media #Independent #Webcomics #Comicbook #Reference #PersonalDevelopment #CultureWar #EconomicWar #PsychologicalWarfare #SpiritualWarfare #BiologicalWarfare #BureaucraticWarfare #KineticWarfare #UnrestrictedWarfare #Business #Publishing

@filtereduuu

Plate abruptly left after discovering another plate's nighty in my bedroom

Been spinning plates for a while.

This one plate I haven't seen for a few weeks. Yesterday I texted her and we quickly established that she's coming over for the night. She works next to mine. She is normally super keen to stay the night.

She comes over and we have a great session.

Afterwards I go shower and get ready for bed on the understanding that we're sleeping in, and I hear that she's fiddling with the main door downstairs. I come down wondering wtf and she just says she wants to leave and her friend is waiting to pick her up.

I say what's up talk to me, she says she just wants to leave. I open the door bewildered (because she couldn't) and she says "just check your bedroom floor" and abruptly leaves, clearly upset.

I go upstairs and she just found another's plate nighty next to the bed I guess and laid it visibly for me.

We never talked of exclusivity or anything like that and I never implied it. One time she probed and I implied that I'm seeing others (she probed around safety and I told her I wrap it with everyone and we left it at that).

Yes it's my fault I didn't hide the nighty, girls are masters of this shit leaving stuff allover your place it was hidden I guess plus I didn't have time to arrange stuff before she came over. My fault.

I'm not going to reach out or anything like that, I may stumble into her again. I plan on ignoring the whole thing.

Wondering if you guys have had this situation before and what happened and how you dealt with it.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

This reads like the bigger issue is that something's going on in your life leaving you to reach out to women you've low interest in. The plate was about to fall out of inventory, but you're laziness inspired them to fully understand that you've no particular reason to ever want them in your life beyond casual sex and never will. Just renew disciplining yourself to regularly cleaning your room in the mornings and keep approaching other females to ensure you have a steady influx of prospective plates as others fall out of inventory.