Come here to ask any question you'd like. Advice, stories, suggestions, anything goes.
@redpillschool many years. Shit was way worse before following red pill advice.
I’m not concerned with what she thinks as I see exactly what she is doing here. It’s classic female solipsism. I’m evaluating myself and how J
I know as men we are supposed to be emotional rocks and can’t expect emotional comfort from them. That’s fine. I think I made the right move by drawing a boundary and cutting off the conversation.
Girl I was exclusive with for 7 months forgot(?) that she had her location on sharing with me and it said she was at her exes house, I asked and she sent paragraphs swearing to god her girl friend lived near him and she was at her house. I 50/50 believed her because I thought she’d turn her location off if she doing something sneaky. Well yesterday i found out… her ex lives in the middle of nowhere and doesn’t have neighbors. So I didn’t say anything, I just blocked her on everything and ghosted her. Its been rough, I couldn’t sleep last night wanting to tell her she’s a lying bitch but I figured it’ll bother her more not hearing anything. Would you guys have done it any different? I’ve been trying to stay busy with work and school but still find myself thinking about her, anything other than time that’ll help with that?Read More
How do you deal with women making things about them when you’re having your own situation?
Scenario I’m sick with Covid/flu this weekend. Have been passed out basically the whole day. I have some of my own anxieties about being sick, but know you can’t depend on a woman to be your rock and provide frame. As such I’ve been maintaining frame, keeping conversation light, and mostly sleeping.
I see her throughout the day clearly being in a bad mood. Historically she always seems to have a bad day whenever I have my own problems that day… even if I don’t depend on her for anything that day.
She has been crying about her problems for a good 45 problems near the end of the night… mostly just listen. However, after this I might it clear that I’m passing out now, and I need to go to bed… that I have to draw a boundary here for my own health.
Let’s say she didn’t like that response and lockers herself in a different room.
What’s the game plan here in the future? Am I supposed to be able to provide limitless support even during my own tribulations, or was this the correct response?
You swallow your pride, accept that you made some damning compromises for the sake of pussy, and learn from the whole experience as you bail. No chick in any relationship behaves they way yours is completely out of the blue and not all relationships are worth fighting to maintain.
It reads like she sees you more as a rival or competition than as a companion. While it's good a guy finds this stuff out early on in the relationship, it also suggests that there were several red flags that went ignored on your part to get to this point.
The best recommendation I could make is that you prioritize getting over the Kung Flu. Get plenty of rest, avoid Tylenol, drink lots of fluids, take an over the counter multi-vitamin marketed for your age group, along with vitamin C, and a teaspoon of Cod liver oil each day from here onward. Use that downtime to decide if this behavior is something you're willing to put up with or not, because that's just part of the price you'll have to pay if you keep hitting that.Read More
@Chattyle I'll leave aside your misunderstanding of what frame is for now.
As others have said, this woman is not LTR material. you're sick. She should be bringing you homemade chicken soup, not trying to one-up you in a game of "who has it worse?".
A decent woman knows you're only human, and doesn't expect you to be a machine.
When I had the wu-flu 2 years ago, my wife made me vegetable soup and plain baked chicken, as well as checked on me every few hours for that first couple of days when I barely even moved.
If you can't tell her "I'm sicker than shit and need to rest" and have her understanding at least, you might want to reconsider any sort of future and whether you want her in that future.
@Chattyle Your expectations of her are so low that you accept trashy behaviour. Tell her outright what you want from her, even if that means for her to bring you some meds/food then get out of the house/room for x amount of time.
You need to have yourself as your mental point of origin. "What do I want" needs to be your first thought, and the answer to that needs to be communicated or acted upon. Dont be brash, but assertive, and appreciative of good behaviour.
If not, what kind of shitty frame are you setting? If this is far from the current dynamic you two have, you will have to work on this over time.