@Red_dead

Can’t get from sex to plate and second dates?

I’ve been having sex but I can’t get past the sex phase to plating a girl, or get from 1st to second date.

I’ve been meeting a ton of women through dating apps, a lot of these were preemptive since I hadnt fully moved to a new city. I’m not against approaching I just have been extremely busy with other life obligations so this was the best option in the interim until I got settled.

Most of these never reach the second date. Tbh im not sure what im doing, im not awkward I have a pretty cool life stories to share I let the girl talk.

To be fair most of these dates do go well it seems more something from the first to the second date im fucking up.

The first two I went on I think I fucked up because I mentioned that I was quitting my job and both seemed to have a negative reaction even though I had talked to about it before with one and she seemed to be suprised when i mentioned it

Once I stopped mentioning this the dates got better. I kissed closed one, had sex with two. The other girl fizzled out but tbh I had no desire to do anything with so I was fine with that.

I texted the kiss close asking what she was doing and she responded “hopefully hanging out with you” then deleted it lol but i saw and playfully joked. Then a couple days later she just went dead, responded she was busy with no alternative then stopped answering.

Of two I had sex with one I don’t want to see again, the other is barely responding, again giving wishy answers no alternative dates for plans.

I started approaching irl and plan on joining a couple clubs kind of sick of the online thing even though im getting a lot of matches. I approached a couple girls today at the grocery store and coffee shop.

Edit: oh I forgot to mention im getting a ton of numbers through the apps but most don’t even respond. I wait a couple days sometimes a week usually because I forget and am busy with work, any advice on this?

Study the book. Your online profile should've already given those females some basic info about yourself. When taking these females out on dates, it's best to keep them talking about themselves, because you need to confirm if the person in front of you is consistent with the image of them you've imagined based on their profile. Moreover, if she's on an actual date with you, you need to interview them to decide if they're worth your time and energy, or just a bang and bounce.

If talking about yourself, specifically about your work-life with females kills their interest in you, then you're going to need to stop talking about your work-life with females. You should look into breaking up your free-time by exploring hobbies to settle on those which interest you and finding real-life face-to-face male acquaintances to socialize with.

@SpecAl123

Bad genetics

I'm 26, I was born with a very small skeletal frame (my wrists are less 6 inches around). Most of my life I weighed 110 lbs at 5'7. I've been hitting the gym HARD for 3 years, 5 days a week. Calorie surplus, enough protein, everything. Now, most of my newbie gains are gone. I've gained like 70 lbs and I still don't look like I lift. My biceps are still under 14 inches. Most people that I've met at the gym get to my size in 6 months. It's humilliating.

My background is in Biology and I remember reading a study in college where they got like 100 new lifters and put them on a 3 month training program while monitoring their nutrition. Some lifters gained 5 lbs, some gained 30. My point being that genetics vary wildly and unfortunately I was just dealt a bad hand. I just happen to be on the far low end of responders.

I don't want to be small forever. Life is unfair but that doesn't mean we have to like it. Should I start taking steroids ? Should I get silicone implants ? Inject synthol ? I'd like to know what you people think.

If you think you've got bad genetics you've got two options going forward. Well, four, at least.

First, suck start a loaded pistol and take yourself permanently out of the game of life, preventing you from imparting those bad genes to future generations. While I acknowledge that the option exists, that shouldn't be mistaken for any sort of endorsement of suicide on my part. Second, you can do what guys like @58to62LegLengthening did by traveling to Turkey, or some other country, and drop some serious dough undergoing lengthy cosmetic surgery that addresses the aesthetic deficiencies genetics presumably burdened you with, leaving you to spend months recovering from the operations, before telling everyone who is otherwise uninterested in knowing that you're an aesthetically better person, despite your obvious deep psychological issues only getting worse.

Third option, you give up on procreating by getting a vasectomy enabling you to sport f#$% from here onward, then ask male relatives who you feel have genetics you lack if they'd be willing to donate their nut butter to be used at some time in the future for your children. Fourth option, do what men have chosen for thousands of years, invest the time and energy to seriously evaluate yourself, identify your various limitations and develop a plan to engage them, so as to transform yourself as close as you can into the man you otherwise envision you could one day be. Lifting weights and exercising is a good start, but comparing yourself to others is not helping.

While you mull those options over, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@hantira2000

Failed to overcome LMR

I went on a four dates with a girl and yesterday on the fifth took her to my place. I put on some music and sat next to her, but when I went in for the kiss she pulled away. I tried escalating 2 more times but she said she just wanted to talk. I was completely pissed and she left soon after. When I got home I sent her a text trying to keep things alive for the future saying I had a good time. She responded with a long text saying that I was rushing, didn't care about her feelings, etc. I told her that I did care about her (lie) but just couldn't help myself. We agreed to talk tomorrow, which is today. What did I do wrong? I might have escalated too quickly on the night and not built enough comfort. Do you think that this situation is salvageable? I think that it's salvageable but it will take me a lot of time to earn back her trust and get the lay.

Anything's possible, but you've not provided not enough information to suggest taking any sort of action would lead to a good outcome for you. Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

For now, you should focus on other things and other girls. Don't ever waste your time lying to people. It's a habit that tends to bleed over into other things and create problems for you as the liar, especially as you're male. The only response you should've made to her text was to say, "I'll talk to you later" and make a note to talk to her sometime the following week. Out of curiosity, did you two kiss at anytime during the previous four dates?

@louistaxi

Should Í approach everyone who is exhibiting strong IOI's?

Í can only have so many sexual partners at once and its becomeing harder to keep in touch with all of them . But í feel immense regret because of letting those girls down who give strong iois, mean like eyefucking, smiling, waving etc.. Will Í just ask for their socials/numbers? Í conclude yes í should, if theres a really good vibe.

You don't have to hookup with every single chick that shows you strong signs of interest, but you shouldn't go away without making the move to get their contact information. Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Who ever has been telling you to bang them all though, you really need to bring them here to help others as they have you. Other guys could definitely use that encouragement.

@SSBPikkon

Did couple of approaches

Me and the boys went to the nearby city to a club. I'll be honest, I'm not the most attractive nor the ugliest, but I have the most balls and a will to try approaching even though some of my boys laugh when I fail, but fuck 'em.

I had 3 sets of girls, I failed every one of them (didn't have a good convo, didn:t get a number). At least, I talked to 6 girls and that's a big achievement for me. Also, I used the same opener for every set.

1st set of girls I went to, talked, introduced myself, but I lost interest and they also did since they're way older than me.

2nd set of girls - 1 was attractive, but didn't say a word. The uglier started talking to me and was pretty bitchy so I left, she showed no interest. It may be her insecurity that blocked me from talking to them, since she was 3 points below from the girl next to her.

3rd set of girls - I went with a buddy and I did all the talking. They were the most attractive set, as I started the approach, the prettier one said: "No, just no". She didn't even give me a chance to talk at all, while the other chick didn't even look at me, not even once. Tbh, when I approached them, they were slouched, looking down, maybe they were annoyed, angry, depressed or just drunk.

The problem is, before these approaches, last approach was long ago and IG I fell off the practice. The opener was cheesy: Hey "random female name" I know you. Basically I pick a name then I talk to her like I know her, "are you her", "wdyd here".

I thought it would be a good test, a chick which really liked me would just smile and answer "yes that's me". But, as I said, I don't think the opener matters that much, all that matters if the chick likes me right away.

Also I didn't have as much confidence as I do now, and that plays a part. Maybe I was unlucky, I think if I just found maybe more of them I'd atleast get a number from one of them.

Serious question, are there no females were you live that you could talk to? None at all? It's just social media sites and night clubs miles from your hometown where you can find females?

@alchemist

Broke up with red flag girl, she had a crying sesh following morning, how do I cope?

Follow up on the red flags girl, "where do we stand post".

So, I had the talk again with the red flag girl, basically had the same exact talk as 4 weeks ago, and she hadn't said a blip about commitment or those same topics until this week. Then during this talk she asks why I hadn't mentioned it... well because you hadn't mentioned it - I already gave my ultimatum prior.

If you want the job, you're going to put your best foot forward in the interview, you're going to act like you're already hired, and display your best traits. Same thing in a relationship, if you want commitment, you'd act like you already are in one and won't continue red flag behaviors (going to bar without telling me, going to bar without me, not being combative, cooking or offering me things more often, not having hissy fits, being upset that i don't reply several hours when I am infact busy with 2 jobs, interrogating me) et cetera.

She hasn't done that, and during this convo she said she wouldn't change her ways, but she still wants me and my commitment, tough luck. She said she hadn't been with other guys since she met me and she only had one LTR for 3 yrs, but based on actions how could I believe that? I follow actions, not words. We had a couple beers, and fucked one last time, I think that was a mistake. And because she didn't give me a definite answer of whether we were going to continue seeing each other or not the night before, I had to make the executive decision this morning and say no we aren't, because the bad will outweighs the good.

I don't want the drama, I don't want no closure, I feel like I may have alleviated the closure aspect, but not the drama. She was crying up a river, upset, about things she can change, am I wrong? I'm not upset she was born 5'6", I'm upset she continues to act like she's single and expects commitment. And I'm not even upset, I'm just indifferent to female degeneracy.

So did I behave the incorrect way? Could I have done something differently? Should I have broken it up earlier or it's just a case of "it is what it is"?

My attempt to answer: I do think I should have ended the conversation that night rather than staying over. I could have broken it off earlier months ago, but I was still spinning the plate, but that's scarcity speaking; I was just putting up with red flag behavior consciously, even though it was mostly casual. I was battling nice guy tendencies and RP awareness, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt knowing damn well a fish does not need a bicycle and a hoe doesn't deserve a relationship.

@Nich2022

Oneitis? Coping with Regret.

What’s up brothers, this is a shorter post of my previous one:

How do you guys cope with knowing the fact you lost a good girl (whatever that means to you)? We had amazing chemistry and I even convinced her to accept a one sided open relationship. I made sure to tell her this before the relationship, actually on the first few dates. And we had a threesome.

We were together for 3 years and the relationship was never fully agreement free. Due to me and my inability to communicate effectively and solve our problems - which I’m working on now.

Long story short, she finally left, because she couldn’t trust me and claimed we have different views on marriage. I essentially tried to get her back for a month straight in which I said I’d be monogamous (I meant it cause I was tired of sleeping around), and I’m willing to work on myself for the betterment of the relationship. We argued about finance structure in marriage and decision making. I wanted to be the leader and she wanted us to be an equal partnership (not wrong in terms of marriage). Remind you we been together for 3 years and this never was an issue.

So yeah, she finally left and now is talking to new men and finally blocked me. I understand most trp principles and have a few plates; so maybe it’s oneitis…My issue was that before she left, I didn’t really care to change anything as my ego was through the roof. She was an 8.5 in my eyes. Did almost everything right. Not a feminists or sjw.

The guilt that I let this one slip away is eating me up. Knowing I can do nothing about it. She turned cold. She’s 28 and on the prowl and we were talking about marriage and getting engaged this year. And that still wasn’t enough.

I’ve been hoping she reaches back out but I doubt it. If she loved me like she said she did, why not give a second chance? I never lied and we were so close. Unless it was all a facade.

During that month of trying to win her back, she did pop back up at my house but I was hesitant and kind of blew her off. This is what’s eating me up the most. I should have just set my ego aside and went all in, then.

Anyone else have similar experience? How long before you moved on? How did you move on? how long did the regret linger?

I have a lot going for myself but now I feel lost and so de-motivated. I’m still working hard but the drive is less now.

My advice to myself: I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone. I got too comfortable and had a big ego because she was a unicorn in my eyes, especially accepting the OLTR setup AND being a traditional woman. I put her on a pedestal. Nothing I can do besides move on.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=87Q042KlxI4

As I said before, If a girl's looking for guys she might form exclusive relationships with and that's not at all what you're offering, you're not loosing anything by encouraging her to continue seeking out other guys looking for the same thing as her. It frees you to resume wrapping up your Johnson to dive between the next willing girls legs as you continue riding the dragon without any burdens or regrets. Why concern yourself with exclusive relationships when that's of no interest to you? Keep going until you reach the point where you sincerely desire something more fulfilling than just casual fornication on your own initiative.

You're not feeling guilty about her departure, but disappointed that she didn't leave on terms you'd set. She rejected you after three years and your ego's mildly bruised from it. If you had one-itis or otherwise sincerely valued what you had with her, you would've spent those three years gradually weening yourself off the plates and reached out to us sooner to learn how to take steps to lay a foundation with this girl from which a strong relationship might grow. Now that it's over, you should take the time to process and accept this failure as you move on. Put her on block from your social media and tele-comm contact points, bang the other plates in your inventory, and consider studying the book so you're prepared to handle chicks you think are worth keeping around.