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AMOG Fail?
Went to the bar the other night to chill and as I was walking to my car after it closed I inserted myself into a set of 2 girls (roomates) and a guy outside his car parked next to mine. Started chatting with both the guy and Girl A who was pretty receptive. It became clear after a few minutes that the girls weren't that into him and were only sticking around because of the prospect of drugs at his house and also they lived in the same town so it would've made for a cheaper Uber ride from his place to theirs.
At first, I recognized this dudes game was pretty trash and he didn't know how to pass any shit tests. But I didn't really know what the plans/logistics were at this point so I decided to stay cool with him throughout the interaction. I knew I looked liked the better sexual option comparatively, so I started to chat up the more talkative Girl A and passed some of her shit tests. The dude chimmed in a few times and got a few disgusted looks which I don't think he picked up on so I tried to subtly to wing for him without seeming like I was placating. Quickly stopped after I realized that he couldn't be helped, so I decided to still stay cool with him but in a more neutral way.
After, I switched my focus to Girl B who was more chill and honestly, better looking. I semi-isolate and let her tell me about her life while I slowly escalated until they decided to get ready to leave. The girls waited in the car while me and dude talked for a minute. I asked what his game plan was and which chick he was going for (got a vague response) and he agreed to let me follow him in my car in to go back to his place for the afterparty.
This is where things get funny. He drove in a circle around the area while speeding and was obviously trying to lose me. He parked on the side of the road so I got out to see what the situation was. When I got to his car he let who I assume was his fellow beta-friend in the car. I'm sure this was already his plan from the get-go and in his head, he didn't need some AMOG stepping on his toes. At this point Girl A was verbally displeased ("I think I'm just gonna go home") but I didn't really have any cards to play here, as everyone was in the car except me and clearly the dude didn't want me involved anymore so I just decide to peace out, then they leave.
I think what I should've done is gotten Girl B's contact information when I had the chance in case they wanted to ditch the guy later. I also should've kept a closer eye on the dude's impression of me instead of assuming we were on the same team. At least this way I could've saw the obvious betrayal coming and planned accordingly. But all-in-all it was a good learning experience.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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Last time I got my plates to spend some time together after sex. They prepared breakfast right after sex and did some kitchen stuff still naked while I was elsewhere.
Then I took em for a ride/walk to a nice spot, sat them at the back so I have peace driving and preventing one trying to force getting my attention and made the other one jealous.
IDK is walking around small kitchen flashing a pussy while I'm not there a sign of being uncomfortable - I rather assume it is build up to slowly trickle play me.
One of the plates told me she is not comfortable about it later on and she doesnt want to hang out with the other one, but that might be as well her game to just eliminate a competition or not to be in direct competition. The other one is willing to do more concessions so doesn't complain about it.
If I have had another plate that is ready to do this shit then I would have an answer, but...
They both are not bad plates and I would rather give a go at gaming them the right way than cycle plates [especially I dont have any more for the same purpose].
I guess I could play the withdrawal game suggesting abundance and sure it is one option, except one of this plates is temporary by design so I would rather try a different approach as I don't have that much time to learn something new nor to play long brakes game.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreIdeas to Develop a Healthy Relationship with Dating Apps Themselves?
I’ve recently jumped back into dating apps after a relationship, but I’m finding them highly addictive and overstimulating. Having cut out all social media, I’m likely more sensitive to the dopamine trap. The urge to check likes and matches multiple times a day is intense, and after a while, it feels like the mental haze of scrolling mindless brain rot Instagram Reels for too long.
I’ve tried app blockers to limit myself to 10-30 minutes a day, but it's not exactly a fool-proof solution.
I assume I am not the only one who finds an app which spits beautiful women at you addicting - what solutions have people come up with? And to those who are wise but have no need for the apps, what solutions can you theoretically propose?
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreAMOG Fail?
Went to the bar the other night to chill and as I was walking to my car after it closed I inserted myself into a set of 2 girls (roomates) and a guy outside his car parked next to mine. Started chatting with both the guy and Girl A who was pretty receptive. It became clear after a few minutes that the girls weren't that into him and were only sticking around because of the prospect of drugs at his house and also they lived in the same town so it would've made for a cheaper Uber ride from his place to theirs.
At first, I recognized this dudes game was pretty trash and he didn't know how to pass any shit tests. But I didn't really know what the plans/logistics were at this point so I decided to stay cool with him throughout the interaction. I knew I looked liked the better sexual option comparatively, so I started to chat up the more talkative Girl A and passed some of her shit tests. The dude chimmed in a few times and got a few disgusted looks which I don't think he picked up on so I tried to subtly to wing for him without seeming like I was placating. Quickly stopped after I realized that he couldn't be helped, so I decided to still stay cool with him but in a more neutral way.
After, I switched my focus to Girl B who was more chill and honestly, better looking. I semi-isolate and let her tell me about her life while I slowly escalated until they decided to get ready to leave. The girls waited in the car while me and dude talked for a minute. I asked what his game plan was and which chick he was going for (got a vague response) and he agreed to let me follow him in my car in to go back to his place for the afterparty.
This is where things get funny. He drove in a circle around the area while speeding and was obviously trying to lose me. He parked on the side of the road so I got out to see what the situation was. When I got to his car he let who I assume was his fellow beta-friend in the car. I'm sure this was already his plan from the get-go and in his head, he didn't need some AMOG stepping on his toes. At this point Girl A was verbally displeased ("I think I'm just gonna go home") but I didn't really have any cards to play here, as everyone was in the car except me and clearly the dude didn't want me involved anymore so I just decide to peace out, then they leave.
I think what I should've done is gotten Girl B's contact information when I had the chance in case they wanted to ditch the guy later. I also should've kept a closer eye on the dude's impression of me instead of assuming we were on the same team. At least this way I could've saw the obvious betrayal coming and planned accordingly. But all-in-all it was a good learning experience.
Read MoreGot back with the love of my life, want to keep my frame, need AskTRP perspective
I’ll try to make this long story short.
I met my girlfriend about 3 years ago. We lived together for about a year and a half. She was a great girlfriend, loyal, never cheated, never broke my trust. But I broke things off because I felt she was lazy and thought I could find a better option. I admit I spoiled her a lot because I loved her.
3 months after the breakup, I missed her and reached back out. She was honest and told me she had met someone new at her job and wanted to explore that. I respected it and stepped back.
She dated that guy for a year. During that whole time, I was still helping support her mom and brother (something I had always done, since I cared about them deeply). At one point she and that guy broke up for 2 weeks, during which she reconnected with me. We hooked up, talked every day, and I thought we were on track to get back together, but she went back to him.
Fast forward to the start of this year: I was arrested, my assets seized, and I went from living with big houses and cars to starting over. Even then, I still supported her family (and now). A little while later she finally broke up with that guy, and after a month or so she reached out to me again. By then, I didn’t have my lifestyle anymore, so I know she didn’t come back just for money.
We started taking things slow. Recently while laying in bed she told me: “After that 2-week split with my ex, I knew we’d eventually get back together. I just needed to make a clean exit with him and make sure I was making the right decision.” Later, she told me things like: “I love you so much,” “You make me feel like the happiest woman alive,” “You’re mine forever.”
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My interpretation: • On one hand, I believe she’s the love of my life. She came back to me after I lost everything, which makes me think her love is genuine. • On the other hand, I know I’ve been guilty of pedestalizing her and her family. I also realize I haven’t always held frame — I’ve been more focused on keeping her happy than on setting boundaries. • I want this LTR to work, but I want to do it without slipping back into old patterns.
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My questions to AskTRP:
- How should I navigate this LTR going forward?
- How do I keep my frame and avoid falling into the “provider” role again while giving this LTR a chance?
- What boundaries would you set in my situation (especially regarding her family)?
- What red flags should I watch out for moving forward?
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreQuestion on Ways to Approach 'Petulance Teasing'
Ya obviously it's some type of shit test. Context is we've been together for a while like at least a year ('LTR')
By petulance teasing I mean she goes 'hmf!! u like spending friendw tih ur friends more than me! (eg cycling bros, programmer bros)'. It's a very obvious played-for-tease thing but I have no idea what way(s) to deal with it are.
So far I've been doing some combination of the 2:
- ignoring her and continuing with what I want to talk about
- acknowledging with slight confusion and mirth but not directly dealing with the bullshit
These 2 I usually do by
- continuing to talk over her about the original subject (disregarding the tease)
- memeing about some random occurrence from my original subject (or the tease) eg. about needing to train my gleuts so I can be thicc like my cycling bros
I realize I'm at risk of actually entering her bullshit frame in this shit test (still). So I was wondering:
What other ways are there? I think it's not a very live-or-die shit test even though it comes off aggro/passive aggro a lot of the time before she switches back bc I accidentally made her laugh or highlighted a subject that made her interested
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreGF moved to me, but I can’t shake resentment over her past with exes, advice?
I’ve known my girl for about a year now. First half was LDR, then she moved countries to be with me. Commitment is clear, we’ve gotten close, families involved, life is moving forward.
Here’s the issue: before we got serious, I made it clear that contact with exes is a hard no for me. She agreed. A few months in, I find out she still had a couple exes on her private account (she has a public one where they are still there) where she shared personal/intimate stuff. I called it out, she removed them, said it didn’t mean anything to her.
Later, I checked her phone and found there was some contact with exs, one example: she had messaged an ex an old picture of them saying it looked good. This happened early during our relationship. That guy is cut off now, but it still sits in my head.
The present is solid, she made the move, she shows commitment, she’s minimized contact. But the resentment lingers. I can’t decide if this is just me stuck in the past, or if it’s something I should act on.
Question: How do I handle this? Do I frame it as a values/boundary mismatch, or just accept it as part of her past and focus on the now?
Trying to answer my question: I think I should lay it down one more time, as if anything close to this happens again, it's done.
I've nothing new to say, that I haven't said already. You should seriously study the book and invest the time to cultivate a hobby or two. Regardless, I respect that you made decisive moves to achieve your goal. Keep at it.
Read MoreI fumbled going into "relationship"
There is 1 chick who I'm seeing rn. She's good, submissive, but female hypergamy is real - she sometimes goes MIA for 2-3 hours and doesn't reply, that doesn't say she's out, but she's texting other dudes.
The 1st time I met her we did everything, but short of sex. 2nd time we were out and stayed a little bit shorter, there weren't logistics and place for intercourse. 3rd time was today, same as the 1st time, but short of sex, I did penetrate her, but sex as it is means changing positions, it needs to be longer - I did couple thrusts, she didn't want to continue and it was getting late so she went home.
She is good everywhere, she rly likes me, but that part about texting is tricky.
She did send me, as well as other chicks, some freaky content, which of course I screen record. Because some chicks bail on me, don't link up, or block/remove me and I keep all the videos like any other dude.
She said today "do you love me" and everything after that went smoothly. She went through my phone and she almost found recording of her sending me spicy pics and she asked is that her - to which I replied no it's the other girl, since they sent me texts at the same time.
I don't think she realizes it's her, she probably thinks it's the other chick. She went on and on how she's upset with me and I said I only delete, put boundaries etc. when I'm fully with someone - she didn't ask for a relationship, she said that's my job which I clearly know it isn't.
She said she's not gonna come anymore, but that's bullshit.
What to do now? Do I remove all the photos? I don't want to bcs I really don't know if she's anywhere close to the gf material and also her saying "I don't text other dudes" is a lie we all know.
I think I should remove her when it goes downhill. These girls nowadays don't give a fuck anymore, she's angry about me not being serious and texting other chicks, while she texts other dudes without shame.
Or do I cool down, be even more cold than I was before? I was always in the power, today I think she flipped the swtich in her head that she's as equal or better than me (that's my understanding it doesn't need to be correct).
Maybe all goes well, maybe she likes that she's the one competing for me and we're all together happy.
Reads like a lot hinging on 'maybe' here. Regardless, study the book, work on your communications skills, and don't stop approaching other females.
Read MoreField Report: 1st date in 5 years - Single Mom
Hi guys, here is how my first date since my 5 year hiatus went. No lay yet, but the FR will definitely come when it does, whether this girl or another. Before I begin, I'd like to point out the importance of flexibility, specially if we are not at the top of our game.
Start: I've been using dating apps for months, because I don't go out much right now, so I wrote to this (and like a bazillion others) girl (32yo) about 3 weeks ago. After a brief exchange I left a "give me your whatsapp so we can chat better there" message and she took 2 weeks to reply (later found out she barely uses the app), I didn't make much of it because these d.apps girls like to ghost like nothing I've ever seen. So I started chatting her up, lives quite far from here (big no for me), then she tells me she has one daughter (big no for me), so I saw no reason to keep talking to her. But then my abundance mentality kicked in, and i figured fuck it, there's many girls around who fit what I'm looking for (single, between 21 and 27,no kids) but they're not showing up for me, something ain't working. So i keep showing interest and tell her I'll invite her out one of these days.
Fast forward to these last 2 weeks, she agreed to go out, and of course I had to pay her ride because girls here just don't move around themselves (actually had to make it clear it was on me,venezuelan girls are very selective out of self interest). So date day comes, we had a videocall the night before, very flirty and clearly horny but was with a young cousin so she couldn't talk too hot, she tells me now that she has 4 (FOUR!) kids but IDGAF anymore about my standards i just wanna fuck some beauty and get it over with, not looking for a girifriend here,it has been so long since my last date/sex I just don't care much at this point. Plus she ended up being a 7/10 anyways,her face a 5 though. So yesterday, she phones me after work, gets ready and I call her uber, she told me he was hitting on her on the way and i joke about it. I get there first, wait for her and we meet.
Her face brightens up as she sees me and blood starts filling my cock as I see her as well,rockin' body for a 32yo mother of 4,super thin and feminine. She is shy,can't look me in the eyes for more than 2 seconds cause her fuck-me eyes look is too obvious, was hot despite being in AC, we kiss on the cheek and hug closely when we meet, and I find out right away she is just a hot tart, probably wet as fuck already, and while we walk she stumbles on her own words and her hands comes close to mine as we walk as if fishing for mine. Side note: I felt something in my dick during the date and my underwear confirmed I was so ready to fuck her in front of everyone that I was dripping pre-cum, that's a first heh
After we walk and chat a bit we go outside where there is a nice view of the large lake where some people just sit down and relax. Since she is doing no talking at all, but looks at my face with a shy horny smile, I lead the convo, I get close and we share a nice short kiss to break the ice. She starts talking more but in all date she doesn't talk much if I wasn't doing the talking, fine by me. We go in, have an ice cream cone, her looking at me flirty while licking the icecream, like she doesn't know what she's doing, and we go out again as it gets darker to see the sunset. We talk, get closer and she holds my shoulders and my back, initiates kissing and touching, her legs sometimes feel my dick and I come closer so she can knows I know whats up. We spend about an hour just holding each other, kissing with and without tongue and just playing around, i hold her neck a bit here and there and pull her hair cause I told her I'm rough and i wanted her to see that Its a part of me, great feedback on that cause she ends up leaning towards being submissive enough to enjoy it and her body feels super hot.
Date ends, kiss kiss,bye bye and starts texting me thanking me for a great time and for me being so cute to her, she texts me some more but I was dismissive because I can't let her take too much of my time out of dates.These girls are always shit-testing in some form. We had a videocall a few minutes ago because she wanted to say hi, and If she gets too clingy with that of course I have to make an excuse to not have the call or outright tell her that I need some time and I enjoy missing each other a bit.
My takeaways are that:
-I had to calibrate my game to a more realistic approach where if I know all girls here are broke and/or lazy then a man has got to do all the date logistics, even her part like transportation. This is a fairly traditional/conservative country I live in and men have to do it all, no point resisting this stuff, I tried and doesn't work. -Cast a larger net: My standards are fine, but If i'm not getting results then I gotta involve more people in my search like the occasional bangable chubby or single moms, maybe even a milf that is at most a 72% batshit person.
I am still not getting laid though it's just one hot date, there's some attractive green flags with this girl so we'll see.
Thanks for reading, always great to share this stuff here and just keep it constructive, It's been 5 years and I think the date and the attraction building was great. Hopefully will be writing a FR soon on banging her or anything with a hole. She wants to call me everyday, and hasn't been on a date in 3 years, already talked with her about "doing something more" and she said "Yes,if it happens i would"...
Any words fellas?
It's good you recognized that you've got to keep looking, but a chick with four kids when you've got none? Honestly, I wouldn't recommend a guy with no kids to go down this path. While it's good that you both like what you see in each other and I won't deny that a man's got to practice his game, it's tragic that these are the few options available for you to do so. Regardless, I would advise you study the book and keep approaching other women. If most of the females you interact with seem to be looking for relationship exclusivity, but would otherwise be burdensome dependents, you should exercise caution going forward. If you've got the time, check out "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar.
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