@Lebbaeus

Advice for setting my mind straight

I just graduated at 26 in Electronic Engineering. I have ignored everything in my life. relationship, friends and family.

Stats: After munching a lot in my exams, I got to 30 per cent fat. (I know it's a lof of fckin fat). In reference to this picture, learn.athleanx.com/articles/body-fat-percentage-men I look like the high 20's with a bit more muscle definition on the chest. I have a belly but when I stand up straight it becomes flat.

I watched porn for so long it fucked me up since I was 11. I'm on Day 44 and following AA recovery for porn. I find everything boring, so my mind associates only source of fun is sexual release. I have been to a hooker once because I just wanted to not be a virgin. In addition, I had a friend and i couldn't get it up with her. I feel like I'm not worthy of women on the inside like no self worth. I'm going to block browsing as it is also draining because I surf aimlessly.

I missed out on the sexual teenage years and early 20's. Socially, I don't have anything to talk about and I don't even know who i am anymore. I don't care about anything. My answers are yes no and i keep shit minimal and I feel like i don't want to share anything about my life because I am ashamed of how I lived it. My mind looks for external validation and not internal. Also no active hobbies

My question is:

• Is there anyone with similar experience who overcame that?
• How did you guys get centered and look for internal validation? I lost my confidence and everything. I would appreciate some pointers in setting up a realistic plan to so I'm on the right track. I even forgot how to flirt. I used to be good.

My focus for this year is by 31 December 2026:

• Decent Physique (15% Bodyfat with more muscle definition)
• Get more lays, I'm at 0. I just want to get more and by end of year possibly reach 60. End goal is reach 100 so i can convince myself that I can do it and then decide if getting an ltr is worth it cause I want to have kids at some point. ( I have really good face genetics so with losing weight I get a lot of looks, my friends called me dicaprio but I'm really scared of women like I look away or walk away.)
• Get a job to support myself
• I have this need that I want to be famous, I was thinking of starting a history youtube channel because I love fckin history cause 90% of it is fake. Yes do not get vaccinated. Or want to Get into comedy and sell out like everyone. I want your honest and raw opinion because I want to learn how to be an adult and stop being a snowflake. I'm currently in european country for a week, staying at a friend. Then I'm going back to my home country where I'm staying for months so I can get back to my routine. I can try some small things this week like giving women compliments in order to get over fear of approaching theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/snowballing.51699 (My trick is to usually look at women and guess what they study or work and joke around but I get nowhere other than just having fun) It's long because I want you to know where I'm at and what are my weaknesses. Discipline isn't my issue, I just don't know where to put my eggs in which basket as I keep switching priorities.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

It's unfortunate to read that you had to retreat from society in order to accomplish your education, as it speaks volumes of the lack of cohesion, psychological-spiritual support and encouragement you could count on from those around you. If it's an option, get familiar with the location of the free clinics in your area and the nurses office on campus. They tend to offer free condoms in bowls, so stock up. To tackle your pornography problem, consider heading over to No Fap or other groups focused on helping men tackle vices in their lives. Some profiles here tend to deride those who see their own pornography habit, or other vices, as a problem and it can be more than annoying if you're unfamiliar with account block functions, so check those out too. Regardless, it's good to read that you've begun to achieve your goals and have a small list of additional things you want to accomplish. To that end, it may help for you to get yourself two sheets of paper, a pen, and do the following.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general starting with what you've shared with us. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, keep it someplace you won't forget. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, resume, or start over.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if its something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

If you otherwise need help, ask. Be discerning of any advice you're offered and never forget that there's no shortage of #books that may help you achieve your goals. Best of luck to you.