@Lionsmane8 Ours*, I won't have kids with someone I'm not living with and married obviously so it's shared property and finances.
I'm suposed to earn alone about the same as the median couple in my country, so statistically my resources will probably end up being equal or above his and that is also why big salary isn't really what I look for in a guy, basically as long as he works we will be able to sustain a correct above average lifestyle.
Also about having kids before 30, it's not that I don't want it to happen
Despite what you're disclaiming here, what the men here are responding to is that your no kids before 30 stance comes off as aspirational.
She says she feels 'uncomfortable' about the asymmetric power dynamic
While everything else in your post is on point and brilliant, I'd be careful assuming all power dynamics are executed well or are ideal or desirable. I've known plenty of men who in short act like absolute assholes toward their meek and submissive wives.
Better to specify and model good asymmetric power dynamics than suggest they are always good for and well practiced by all parties. I've seen many "Benevolent dictator" patriarchs lead happy families, and many "Absolute fiat authoritarian" types where the wife always cowers and the kids leave home at 15 never to speak to him again, or if they don't escape, fall into addiction and dysfunction as coping mechanisms.
@Lone_Ranger I will probably already have to care for my parents at that moment.
I work at the hospital, you can consider you lucky if it only a matter of months, some people just completely lose their ability to be independant for basic needs and get dementia that last for years.
Marriage is important to me and it's a life long commitment that I will honore any way, and that's exactly why I have to consider beforehand almost every life long aspects/consequences of it I can think of.
@Lone_Ranger I'm not 25 yet, so your gap example is in adequation with my age "limit" I gave in one of my previous post (<30).
Also about having kids before 30, it's not that I don't want it to happen but if my conditions are not met I won't have them before (house, stable relationship, marriage) and I'm clearly not sure it will happen before 30.
@Vermillion-Rx I don't get it that's the opposite of what I said. If you love someone you care about them, hence their "potential future misery" is important and you should care about it.
@Vermillion-Rx I again forgot how to quote but : "don't care if YOU give someone a dead bedroom."
If you love someone you care about their happiness, if sex matters for that then you care for sex.
I'm not talking for all individuals of my gender out there but just for me and my pov on relationships.
@Lone_Ranger Realistically I wouldn't date anyone over 30 right now, not enough daddy issues /s
If I have kids at 30 as it is the average in my country, that means the guy would have otherwise +40yo at that moment and can be lacking the energy and patience for the next 20 years to participate enough into education and family life like sharing sports activities or travelling all together. Plus considering women live longer, that would mean I would most likely become a widow or an almost full time caretaker when I hit retirement so the whole growing old together has to be thrown by the window.
There is also a issues with male gamets when they get order, fertility is decreasing and studies has find a correlation with kid's health issues when the father is older (mostly psychiatric : autism, BPD and TDAH). Because if I meet a forty-ish guy, I certainly won't have kids with him until several years of vetting.
The benefice/risk balance of dating significantly older men isn't worth it for me.
For the dead bedroom stuff, it might indeed increase the risk I guess ? But if you're not stupid I guess it's something you are supposed to talk about at the beginning to understand the importance of it for both party and then find a common ground that will satisfy everyone, at least before getting engaged/have kids.
Read More@lurkerhasarisen She looks quite unhinged, there are a lot of videos exposing her weird reacts and questionnable opinions.
On the other hand I discovered Jasmyne Theodora (youtube) on the Red pill women subreddit I think ? I'm not myself into the fully traditionnal lifestyle (two incomes will always be better than one in this economy most of the time) but she is cute, radiates good energy and gives a lot of food for thoughts imo.
@Lone_Ranger I'm just lacking the dating etiquette for now but I'll learn ahah, thank you for your input !