@First-light @Typo-MAGAshiv I think there's a lot of nuance to this- which explains why people are uncomfortable receiving my essay, but it also explains why I mistakenly got things wrong in the first place. In fear of being a bitch, I oversteered into not owning my own shit.
And of course, me having basically learned autism (thanks dad!), when she bitched about household duties, I went to the scoreboard like a butt-hurt bitch because I thought that was the alpha laying down the law move. But really all it was, was me not engaging her in an attractive, masculine way.
When we got into arguments... whining, pointing to the scoreboard, showing her the bills I pay, all of this was still completely in her frame and demonstrative of my validation seeking.
No, you shouldn't do all the chores. And I absolutely expect her to pull her own weight, which she does thankfully. But I also don't let the little things slip on my side because if I'm going to have high expectations of her, I'm going to have high expectations of myself.
And then when she slips up and bitches (because let's face it she will), we both know I own my shit, and I give her the look and she shuts up, and we don't talk about it again.
I recently decided my schedule works better if I wake up earlier to take one of the kids to school 3 days a week (previously she did it most days, and I did the other kid later). It just so happens the early schedule works out perfect to fit in a gym session before I head to the office so I told her "I'm going to do 3 days a week, here are the days."
You'd think she'd be happy about that given she now gets to sleep in 3 days. It didn't take her long to start up with the "well, convenient for you to take over on that right before the school year ends. You should do 5 days a week. I've been getting up early with the kids for years!"
Now in my head I immediately (autistically) start thinking about the scoreboard.
What other duties didn't she pick up when I picked up this slack? She's never woken up this early before this year, she's full of shit. Etc etc etc...
Then it hits me, I'm scoreboarding again.
So I just looked at her and said, "nah I'm good I need my beauty sleep the other days" and left it there. She dropped it almost immediately.
Read More@Vermillion-Rx The dynamic is a little different when you have kids, but yeah. If I'm heading upstairs, why wouldn't I take the laundry with me?
@Typo-MAGAshiv Yeah, that's how they construct a sit-in for meaning. Performative beings.
I've heard enough twitter moms complain, and enough alpha-bros push back on chores that I think it's time to address it.
open.substack.com/pub/redpillschool/p/scorekeeping-the-chores-and-the-dumb?r=5dssok&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I doubt you heard anything at all, because rule 30 clearly states that there are no girls on the internet.
One point: what's clean and tidy for you, is clean and tidy enough. (Within limits, of course - it doesn't apply if you're a hog.)
So, if she thinks that more tidying up is needed, she's more than welcome to do it herself. At that point, yes, you do have a priority to sit on the couch and scratch your balls.
I've heard enough twitter moms complain, and enough alpha-bros push back on chores that I think it's time to address it.
My life is turning into a goddamn time warp (and not the fun kind with a jump to the left, and a step to the right,
Apropos the meme of the Trans kid and their Dad...
As a teen way back in the early 80s, I got really into Rocky Horror for a while, to the point I joined one of those troupes that would dress as the characters and act out scenes as the movie played. (I was Brad FWIW.) My straightlaced Boomer Mom didn't "get" this trending thing and thought the worst of it. Fun fact, instead of "turning me gay" it got me laid with my first GF! Anyway, at one point having seen my fishnet stocking costume, she wailed, "I don't want my SON wearing "nylons" before my DAUGHTER is old enough to!!!11!!"
I'm basically asexual and a girl I haven't had sex with is aggresively pushing for exclusivity
I think I've got a bit of an uncommon situation. I'm not interested in sex - though I've got a few fetishes, pussy tits ass don't do nothing for me. Even though I've been in a couple of ltrs and had a couple of ons, I'm technically still a virgin and practiced only non-penetrative sex.
About a year and a half ago I started texting and hanging out with a girl who was an acquaintance for a long time before that. Because she really is different than all the women I've ever talked with, extremely smart, educated, can talk to her for hours, we hit it off great from the start, and there was no indication of anything sexual or romantic happening between us until I made things official with another girl a couple of months later (lmao). She jumped on me one night and I cheated (I broke up with the mentioned girlfriend after that), and from then we've been hooking up regularly, with me avoiding penetrative sex by telling her that I cannot be in a relationship with her because of a reason I can't disclose (the reason being my sexuality), and that us having sex would unmistakably lead us to a point where we're practically in a ltr.
As time went on she's been falling more and more for me, and it's reaching levels which are threatening to ruin relationship - she called me last night and aggressively pushed for answers, asking if I'm seeing anyone else beside her, to which I answered no (probably fucked up, managed to dance around that question when it was being asked in the months prior) and she told me that the moment I touch another girl is the moment we go our separate ways. A month ago she told me she "doesn't want to know any details about what I do" and when I mentioned that, she told me things have now changed and how "we haven't agreed upon seeing other people". She had this bitchy attitude different to the usual "pleaseee don't ever leave me" persona she carries, probably influenced by her girl friends or those female version red-pill type validation clips I've seen her watch. I told her I'll be honest and inform her when it happens and hung up.
Now, I'd like to get us back to the point where me being with other girls does not imply us never talking again, either by establishing the frame present before that call, or even by us going back to being just friends, if either of those are possible. The initial instinct when considering the latter is probably revulsion to that idea, but keep in mind that I'm mostly asexual and mostly aromantic. I'd be satisfied never touching her again, especially if it means she can remain in my life, as she really has grown to be something like my best friend.
Keeping it on the safe side, I think what I can do is continue texting regularly until she comes back home from college, and when we meet up in person explaining how it's essential for saving our relationship that we stop hooking up, sprinkling in some comfort like how much I like and care for her but that we simply cannot be together. On the other hand, I'm not sure she will really have the guts to leave even if she finds out I do things with other girls but I don't know how or whether to test it. I know this situation is completely retarded and it's my fault I've ended up here in the first place but I'd really like any help. We're both 21
Stop being a retard and consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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