@redpepper25

Question about this girl

I know “oneitis” and “AWALT”, but still want to ask the question-

Had a first date with this girl the other night and it went really well. Brought her back to my place and got some last minute resistance - she said she didn’t want to have sex because saw this going somewhere long term and wanted to take things slow. We did pretty much everything else.

She kept telling me she was looking for something serious and seemed like she was hesitant because she thought I was just looking to hookup.

Next day I reach out and she seems way colder over text and doesnt offer an alternative when I propose a time for a second date.

Not sure what to do now? I guess soft next?

Why do girls do this shit? I know AWALT, but this girl has no social media, doesnt go out much, and just overall seemed like a good girl. I guess this is just proof that all of them really are like that

I'd say soft next them to help spare your ego, but do you really believe some girl you've only known for a few hours would actually notice, let alone miss you, if you disappeared? You've probably got no sort of life outside of chasing skirt, going to school, or work, and the frustration you're expressing tells me many females can sense that about you too. You need to deal with that now, because sane folks know fixating on any single thing, or person, just isn't healthy.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

While you're doing that, make the time to check out and find a few hobbies to pursue. Try to settle on something that occupies and stimulates your mind outside of school, your job, and working out. While female companionship is definitely something a guy should value in life, the man you're otherwise striving to be is the goal, and I don't think that's something you've realized yet.

@Machiaspinner

Is this plate broken?

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing great. I have a question: did I mess things up with this plate, or should I just consider it broken?

I’ve been seeing this girl, 23 years old, for about five months. She’s a real virgin, shy, feminine, and assertive. For those five months, I basically put her on a pedestal. My morality kept telling me not to escalate, thinking that since she’s a virgin, it wouldn’t lead anywhere and would be a waste of time, even though I know that AWALT.

Despite the clear high interest she was showing me, I kept it cool and made no move. Recently, I finally decided to escalate with kino and kisses, and she was receptive. But after the second time, she said she wanted to talk.

She told me she wasn’t expecting things to go that far, especially since we had known each other for five months and I hadn’t made a move until now. She also mentioned that I come off as a bit arrogant and hard to deal with, probably because I’ve been maintaining my frame and giving her only occasional validation. She added that she just wants to enjoy her time, because i mentionned in the past that I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, which in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have said.

Honestly, she’s right. Waiting that long to escalate was a weak move on my part. I tried to cover it by saying “good things take time,” and she just laughed and accepted it . But deep down, I feel like I triggered her anti-slut defense, and now I’m wondering if it’s best to walk away from this and accept that the plate is broken.

Morality wasn't the problem. You simply lacked the confidence needed to escalate. That you lacked this confidence for five months is a bit alarming.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.