I feel like I wasted my college experience. I am a rising senior at college and I am heavily focused on securing a job(CS) for the upcoming year. Throughout the past few years, I have had some close friends, have been hitting the gym regularly, and mainly I have been focused on school. But now I am coming to the realization that I wasted my college experience. I wasn't too involved in many clubs. I don't have a big social circle. No hookups/gf and most of all no cool "stories" that everyone has of their college days. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm taking a hard course load and have to deal with finding a job after I graduate. Additionally, making friends and finding social circles feels straight up impossible since I am a senior and everyone has established friend groups. I'm just wondering what I should do and what practical steps I can take.

@noidea

How to handle failure?

I got her number, I texted her a date suggestion, she replied double text with a smalltalk question... Now I fucked up the texting in the past so many times that I try to not text by any means, so I told her straight up that I dont text and suggested a phone call instead. She replied no and goodbye.

I try to chalk it up as doged a bullet and that its fine if she cant handle the not-texting but its bothering me big time. Im now again depressed to a point that this will affect me for the coming weeks, so that Im in no state to approach anyone. There is so much negative shit and worries my brain is spitting out right now, its unreal. This is obviously no way to do things.

Id like to get to the point where failure does not bother me and I can approach constantly. The whole thing with women is full of contractdictions and catch 22s, I cant find a reliable way of dealing with it.

It reads less like you dodged a bullet, and more that you shot yourself in the foot. You seem lazy, but perceptive. Try to be more disciplined and decisive in your actions to overcome your incompetence. Don't text with females to set dates, but rather call them up instead and limit texting to logistics to guide them to a location at the moment of the date. It's a basic mistake a lot of guys young and old will make, but hopefully one you won't repeat in the future.

To better help you with dating challenges like these, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@kingthing33

What the fuck do I do? I'm 30.

I don't want to fuck 30 year old women. The world is different than it was a few years ago. It seems like young women are never at bars and it isn't a good place to meet them. Is it only possible to meet 18-24 year olds on Tinder or Insta now? I don't know what's going on, I spent the last five years working on some important shit to me thinking that I would just have a higher smv at 30 and life would be easier but it seems like I just have a lower smv from getting older and I don't know how to meet "young ladies" anymore besides dating apps. I'm not doing dating apps right now because there is no point in a town of 10k. The women aren't on there. I feel like guys in their early twenties and shit are very defensive against older men going after younger women and don't want to let you into their social circles so please tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't feel comfortable approaching hot girls in public because I can't tell the diference between a 21 year old and a 16 year old. Anybody care to explain? Do I absolutely have to go digital now? What are you doing? Life was easier when I was a 21 year old loser! It feels like I was sold a lie by the red pill. How do I fix this? I don't know how to be 30. Everyone in my small town my age either settled down and got married or got into drugs, I cut off all my old friends because they were going nowhere and toxic people.I'm afraid I'll move to a city and still be isolated. This fucking sucks bros.

Then maybe it's time to spend sometime visiting the nearby cities to find one with a pace and quality of life you think you'd enjoy. Beyond that, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@joyboy Its fair enough to vent. My only comment advice apart from "keep on going practising socially and you will get there" is that the way you talk, you are setting yourself up for major oneitis when you get a girl.

One success won't set you up, it will in fact be another step. You will still feel lonely sometimes and you will get a whole different set of issues you didn't have before -managing life with a female in it.

Its easy for us to see the next hurdle as being the thing that will sort it all. The thing is when you get there, you are still practically the same guy you always were just in a slightly different place. You may have changed a tiny bit on the way but you are still the same guy. For me I look back on the big hurdles I really wanted to pass in life and see that after I had done all of them, I realised much nothing had changed in me.

Keep doing everything you are doing for self improvement but also get used to being content in your self, in your own company. This will make you more attractive and more resilient to disappointment but do it really just for yourself. Learn to like and enjoy yourself. Then outward things like women's opinions will matter less.