@Intelligent-Sir-6319

Difficulty in distinguishing between a shit test and a genuine complaint.

I once shared a community service experience where there was a girl who acted however she liked (https://trp.red/t/1dzp). Is it true that when a girl makes a big deal out of small things, almost as if big things are a problem, it's a form of a shit test? Sometimes, in certain moments, like when I was asked by another friend if I could play guitar, and I said no, the girl who acted however she liked said, 'Then learn it.' in a demeaning way. I mean, not everything can be done by us, but during the activities, she would often tease me with trivial issues that she made a problem, and I would just ignore it and act indifferent. Then, after some time, she would talk to me again as if nothing had happened.

For instance, I asked if she had prepared the attendance list for a presentation during the community service event, and she responded, 'You were called by the man (from the village in the event), but you didn’t listen?' (Even though the man was just asking casually, and my friend answered him—no big deal). She said it in an angry tone, and I was a bit confused. I replied, 'Why are you always angry?' She responded in a feminine tone, saying, 'I’m not angry.'

Besides that, she often tried to provoke my emotions with passive-aggressive behavior, but I would usually ignore her because I knew that if I reacted, she would turn the tables and act like the victim, even though she was the one who provoked me first with passive-aggressive behavior. I often ignored her, even though at first, I thought she was bringing up urgent issues. But when I didn’t pay attention to her, after throwing a tantrum, she would talk to me again in a normal tone as if nothing happened.

Is everything I’ve described a form of a shit test? Because the context is semi-formal (community service), where the team needs to succeed in the program, and as the leader, I sometimes find it difficult to separate whether her complaints are truly urgent or not. But over time, I’ve come to assume that she is more playing games with me. Compared to the other members of my team, they are more formal and present complaints in a more formal manner, unlike this girl. In fact, another female member of the team thought I was somewhat close to her and that something romantic might happen, even though I never thought about it in that way, as I was focused on the bigger objectives of the group.

Then, at the end of the event, she told me that I was too stubborn and unwilling to compromise. But if I reflect on all the tantrums and complaints she gave, they were generally informal and confusing, and again, I ignored her. But afterward, when the event was over and we had a team dinner, she said that our team was better than the others because the other team had more shortcomings. (This was somewhat contradictory to what she had said to me earlier.)

I have been applying the red pill principle for a long time, but before this community service event, I always separated my professional environment from the environment where I could act freely with women outside of the professional setting. What I found a bit challenging in this experience was context switching between being professional or playful. I don’t want to take risks if something goes wrong because I am the leader of this team.

Edit: My current answer is by maintaining frame, I always shut down her complaints by ignoring her, staying friendly and formal as formal as I can be. Don't want to risk any bigger potential problem thrown at me.

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