@fumandobebiendo

Am I fucked beyond repair?

This was the first time I tried to promote a bitch, fucked it up with plate of 8 months that was becoming gf.

I have tons of trust issues due to AWALT and was trying to prove this bitch was not fucking other dudes before taking this step (yeah maybe caught oneitis too) so hired a couple PI to watch her / infiltrate her life (social circles) to get more information, etc and she caught me one day she created drama and asked to review my phone (I put resistance but she threatened with ending things immediately if I didn’t comply), she saw everything (that I’ve been following her, that some girls she became friends with was just an agent that I infiltrated in her friends group, etc etc etc). Before this she was also not trusting me (the phone thing was due to her suspecting I was unfaithful..) because I tried to be Chad all the time and flirted with tons of women, had a couple friends that were pretty and I tried to make my plate jealous. I didn't have other plates, it was all staged to make her believe I have options and I'm a high value dude

Now she believes I am a psychopath that will kill her, she compared me to Joe from 'You' tv series, her mom also knows and the dynamics are completely fucked up, she is becoming paranoid, she thinks I have mics, I record her when we fuck, that I have a virus in her phone (I'm a CS major) etc etc etc

She also brought up that she almost became other person to please me so I could trust her (stopped going out with friends, spends almost all the days with me, has sex with me whenever I want, cooked/cleaned for me, blah blah) -- this was a result of dread and psychological games that I learned here to have her behave in a good way, and she was becoming a house wife

Thing is, now it seems I need to blindly trust her from here as she made me promise her this would never repeat and the ball is on her court for ending things if she can’t stop thinking about me hurting her badly or if she finds another dude. I can't stop thinking this bitch just wants my commitment, resources and time, while she continues fucking other dudes, like all fucking women, they are all full of shit. For her, it's going to be even easier now as she controls the whole thing and the promise is that she will communicate if something happens some day with any dude, hence I can't even question any behavior anymore.

How can I come back from this? How can you trust a woman despite AWALT?

That's absolutely diabolical. You actually hired private investigators and actors to befriend and spy on a female you've been dating for nearly a year before deciding to be exclusive? Seriously? Now this is a manifestation of one-itis I kind of respect. You're a paranoid f%$&er operating on a level most of us have only ever dared to dream. The problem isn't that you got caught, but that you have issues provoking you to do it to begin with.

Seeing as both the girlfriend and her mother are confident that you're an @$$h0le, why stop now? Keep going, but be more discrete about it. Study the book, install spyware on all the tech in the family home, invest into personal, home, vehicle surveillance, and attend Defcon. Continue to develop your domestic espionage game. When you get a chance, find out if you live in a one-party consent state when it comes to recording. You know what, if you're throwing cash at a private investigator, and actors, you should just hire an attorney to advise you so you know how far you can allow your spying to go before it's a criminal offense.

@nr_guidelines

Ways to avoid being seen as beta?

What are some other behavioral traps that guys can fall into, mistakes that will make a girl beta-zone him?

Here are some I can think of, off the top of my head:

-Confessing feelings to a girl, especially early

-Smiling in a total dork way

-Looking down in a sheepish submissive way

-Being seen as the 'follower' of another man 'leader' (but is there more context to this?)

-Hesitating in the approach for too long

-Shaming other men who say things that offend women, like a girl would do

-General emotional reactivity

-Being a simp

-Nervous awkwardness

-Having no muscle

It's good that you've put together something of a list here. I'd suggest you get yourself a sheet of paper, a pen, and expand on this. Just write down everything you've wanted to do, no matter how silly, or important onto a sheet of paper. Anything you've had to put aside for reasons like work, schooling, family, and so on. Just write it all down. Then on another sheet of paper, re-write those things starting with what you believe maybe the least difficult all the way down to the most challenging. When you've finished, get to work.

While you're working down that list and knocking things off, study the book. Also, don't be afraid to check out both the books and fitness enthusiasts tribes. Build up a library of knowledge you can refer to even if the power's out.

@absoluteunit

[clear indication that he thinks that just because a woman is under 25, she's not "been around the block"]

They pretty much start fucking when they hit puberty. Both of my exes with the highest N-counts were under 25 at the time (one was 22 and one was 19). They were both shockingly slutty.

Pretty much any chick you get with will have fucked, and fucked a lot.

When I was single, age didn't mean shit to me. What mattered was: did we want to fuck each other? Do we want to keep fucking each other now that we've fucked? How does she treat me when we do things besides fuck?

That last one was the gateway to if a woman was more than just a piece of ass.

Did you ever read the sidebar?

I only go for

Your OP reads as though you don't go for anything, that you just let opportunities slip by.

@absoluteunit

For 25 years I was fat loser virgin, discovered TRP, and now 5 years later I am a jacked virgin with money. Now for the first time of my life women actually put themselves in my proximity, give me all the signals imaginable, brush their tits on me when moving past me, touch my arms all the time, you know the deal. Problem is that I have self isolated during this time and lost most of my social circles and I made the classic mistake of not doing approaches when I was starting out. This is also partly why I isolated myself because I felt shame for being the virgin. Now I only look like I know what I am doing, but the fat loser is still inside me and at this age women expect you to have experience, carry the whole conversation and make all the right moves. I can see them get disappointed when I don't make a move but my social skills are so trash. I can start a conversation but holding it and escalating is where I get lost in my head. Reading another manual won't do shit, I know I have to get out there and fake it until I make it but any advice/tough love you can give me would be appreciated.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@nr_guidelines

Have I Been Connecting with Women Too Much?

On one hand I've had the experience where all I needed with some women was Attraction and Logistics (and the most basic conversation to fill the air), and they'd bang within 1-2 hours of meeting.

But then I bought into the idea that "not all women are like that," the idea that there are some women who require either some kind of emotional connection, or "liking you as a person" or even basic commonalities before having sex.

So is that a completely blue pilled idea? Is it in fact bad to focus on building a connection with a woman in any way other than sexually, before sex, otherwise the greater the chance of being LTR-zoned or even friend-zoned? *If a guy has short-term value demonstrations, can he get away with "connecting with women"?

Is it the most red pilled way to maximize nothing other than Attraction, Logistics, and Short-term value demonstration? Will all women be hoes and have sex with a man they consider attractive, without any degree of feeling connected?

I heard from a PUA that the four values are Fun, being Interesting, Masculinity and Confidence. Masculinity and Confidence seem congruent with red pill, then the Fun part seems like the point of "connecting." But is the 'Be Interesting' part either completely unnecessary, or is it that what women find interesting is just the more you can show bold moves and alpha traits?

Attempting to answer my own question: Yes, I've been in the past overprioritizing connection, especially over text. However, it doesn't mean that all non-sexual communication is detrimental, especially if it's about "fun." I should focus more on the concept of building short-term value, because even if and when a LTR is wanted, a plate can be turned into one. There is a bigger discussion to be had about a woman's distorted feeling and perception of a man's LTR-value after having short-term sex with him, versus a man's actual ability to run and manage LTR game, but that's a whole other topic. I honestly don't know how ratio-wise women can be split into groups of: 'needing emotional connection before sex' vs. 'don't need it but have stronger comfort-locks' vs. 'true DTF hoes only needing attraction'

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

For 25 years I was fat loser virgin, discovered TRP, and now 5 years later I am a jacked virgin with money. Now for the first time of my life women actually put themselves in my proximity, give me all the signals imaginable, brush their tits on me when moving past me, touch my arms all the time, you know the deal. Problem is that I have self isolated during this time and lost most of my social circles and I made the classic mistake of not doing approaches when I was starting out. This is also partly why I isolated myself because I felt shame for being the virgin. Now I only look like I know what I am doing, but the fat loser is still inside me and at this age women expect you to have experience, carry the whole conversation and make all the right moves. I can see them get disappointed when I don't make a move but my social skills are so trash. I can start a conversation but holding it and escalating is where I get lost in my head. Reading another manual won't do shit, I know I have to get out there and fake it until I make it but any advice/tough love you can give me would be appreciated.