@GetMoreBooks

First Approach at 30

Field Report Last Post: www.forums.red/p/asktrp/323965/30_y_o_beginner_with_some_questions

Learning Game from Day Bang. Only read up to the part where he talked about eliminating approach anxiety. Next section said "After a few dozen approaches", so I decided to get out there and approach.

Hey y’all, been making good progress since my last post. Continued losing weight(still ways to go to not be overweight) , been lifting 3x a week, joined social groups(kickball, community theatre as a set helper). Been talking to more people to work on my social skills. Stopped watching porn and playing games.

Stuff I’m still working on: Still no luck getting a job in my field. Think I might just go be a server for awhile until I can find an entry level position in my field. Still living with parents, won’t be able to financially move out for 18 more months if I get a minimum wage job so I can build up emergency fund.

I approached for the first time in my life at 30, looking for feedback.

1st Approach: Said I like a girls shirt in passing, she wasn’t looking at me, glanced and made eye contact with me, then looked away after she realized I was talking to her. We were walking in opposite directions and I had no idea what I was doing, so I just kept walking. My question is how do you talk to women you see on the street? Do you just walk up to them and say how’s the weather?

Where I could have improved: I don’t think approaching on the street is going to work for me, I don’t think I’m handsome enough. I should probably avoid this if there’s no strong IOIs.

2nd Approach: In a bookstore, there were two girls browsing some books. Took a minute before I worked up the courage, and then I walked up to them and asked if they had found anything interesting. We chatted about some old mini books they had, then I complimented the girl I was interested in dress. She kinda just froze and looked at me, and then smiled and said thanks. I wasn’t sure where to go from here, told them to have a good one and went back to browsing.

How I think I could have done better: Maybe talk some more about books I’ve read lately, honestly not sure how I could have saved this one. She seemed responsive but the friend seemed like I was a bother.

3rd approach, most positive response and most attractive:I was browsing at the same bookstore, and this hottie was walking by and I said I like your tattoo. She responded really positively. I asked if it was of a certain forest( it was some trees) and she said no it was her first tattoo. I then complemented a certain aspect of the tattoo, and she said thanks. Again, I wasn’t sure what to do next so I complimented her earrings, and she said thanks, smiled, and then walked away. Really beating myself up on this one since she seemed to actually respond well but I fumbled hard.

Where I could have improved: After the tattoo compliment I could have just asked for her number or if she was free to grab a cup of coffee.

Overall Self Analysis: Happy I approached despite how botched the attempts were. It seems like the only way I know how to show interest is to compliment them and then I don’t know what to do. I think I’ll keep working on talking to strangers and having conversations with them. How do I show interest besides complimenting them? I think maybe I could ask them how their day is going? Also, is it normal to feel weird both before and after approaching? I felt like I was out of place/shouldn't be trying. Any feedback appreciated.

Congratulations on mustering the courage to talk to females. Study the book and keep at it. You can only get better.

@Typo-MAGAshiv

Bullshit. I've seen the footage.

Jeez, I thought better of the group here, you near the top of that heap, than to expect to see such a profoundly ignorant statement.

You've seen THE footage? All the footage from all the locations within a city of 3.8 million people in which you also currently live and are personally familiar with?

Or, just enough footage likely curated to guide viewers in planned directions, to support your preconceived notions, then give tacit approval for jackbooted thugs to run amok performing "law enforcement" under concealed identities in a city far away from you?

primarily being conducted by criminal invaders who are breaking the law just by being here.

If that WAS true, I'd be for it also. But, these Matrix-looking black clad sunglass wearing "agents" are doing shit like going into courtrooms where people are willfully making appearances to fulfill their obligations along the legitimate path to citizenship, and rounding them up like sitting ducks then getting paid a generous bounty per head. Are you entirely clear on which parties are acting within the law, and which ones very conspicuously outside of it?

Your state and your city have been complicit in this.

That's right... OUR state, OUR city! How about you run YOUR State and City to 1800s standards of segregation and economic exploitation if that is your ideal, and keep your jack booted anonymous thugs the fuck out of ours???

Treating Mexicans like "The Other" doesn't hit the same for LA residents as it does to you. Your attitude as expressed in this thread may have served you well as a soldier occupying other peoples' country. But people like myself who have lived 6 decades in Los Angeles have long since made peace with the reality of having first generation Mexicans living in close proximity. It's not an apartheid state or a Mad Max dystopia like you seem to portray it- not at all!

People like myself have grown up with Mexicans, lived among Mexicans, worked alongside Mexicans, Hired Mexicans, Dated and had sex with Mexicans, lived through crisis events that we worked through with Mexicans. Also across decades, we've done the same with "fellow" white people and built a full library of examples based on firsthand experience of the merits of them alongside other races in addition to Mexicans.

All this to say, you're not lecturing some college age kid about "isms" they just learned about as classroom abstractions, but someone who has lived a life across decades that serves to cast certain things people from elsewhere say about different races of humans in a seriously poor and small-minded light.