@Lionsmane8

She wants me to marry her, but...

So, I’ve been seeing this 20-year-old regularly for close to eight months now. She’s very supportive, feminine, girly, has a great personality, and although she’s not the best-looking girl I’ve been with, she’s still very cute and really loves me—girlfriend material.

The one issue I had with her was related to sex. She’s a virgin and Muslim (I’m Muslim too), and although we avoid PIV, she still takes care of me in other ways on occasion. That said, this was a major issue early on, but because I wanted to keep her supportive energy in my life, but also not force anything on her, we made an arrangement.

Since my last breakup almost two years ago, I vowed to no longer offer exclusivity, and that’s worked great for me. I’m very honest about that fact early on with women, and unsurprisingly, it does turn a few off—but many more respect my honesty. So that’s that.

I told my girl early on that sex is non-negotiable for me and that exclusivity isn’t something I do, and she accepted.

Concurrently, I’ve been seeing another girl regularly (for about five months now). She’s 19, very bright, soft-spoken, has a relaxing presence, and is head over heels for me. She’s down for anything and everything—heck, I sometimes have to tone things down.

This little situation has been going smoothly for a few months now, with a lot of enjoyment and genuine fulfillment (love feels good). Practically zero conflict or toxicity.

However, the 19-year-old is about to leave the country permanently, and the 20-year-old has been hinting at marriage.

At first, it was jokingly—probing, obviously—joking about carrying my children, then asking about my intentions, then steering conversations toward the topic, playing relevant songs, etc.

Tonight, we went for a short night drive, and she came forward much more assertively than usual, saying, "My friends told me that you should marry me," and asking about my stance on marriage.

I told her what I usually say: "I’m not ready for that—it doesn’t even enter my mind." Which is true; I’m neither financially nor mentally ready. It’s a serious matter.

To which she responded, "When you think you’ll be ready, are you thinking of marrying me?"

Now, that’s the question I dreaded. I really like her—she’s a great girlfriend—but honestly, no, I don’t want to marry her. I still long for a girl similar to (but superior to) my previous ex. But I can’t tell her that, so I just said, "I don’t know."

She didn’t get mad or anything, and that’s what makes it hard for me. She’s really supportive and plays the girlfriend role very well. It’d be easier if there were conflict—I could rationalize ending the relationship. But that’s not the case, and I appreciate her for that.

Now, since the one-year mark is approaching, I’d already been thinking of gradually distancing myself from her—gently, slowly. I don’t want to build a life with her, marry her, or have her carry my children. I also don’t want to give her false hope, drag this out, or fool her in any way. But at the same time, I don’t want to hurt her, and I have to accept that I will disappoint her. I know what I want and what I don’t want.

Anyway, this is just a melancholic rant. You’ll all say I already know the answer, and it’s true—I do. I’m planning to let it burn out slowly. She’s smart and a woman—she knows what she wants, and she’s probably already put two and two together by now and I sincerely wish her the best, because she deserves it.

Time to take out my fishing rod.

What traits are you looking for in a female, that the ex-girlfriend you still fondly remember had you've noticed others you've dated since lacked?

@alchemist

captains and boat wrecks went.

i think we were destined to end up in cuck society in an industrialized era as we are now, men just couldn't easily switch from actually protecting the assets that were bearing new soldiers, to variation of 'meh - die bitch' in 100y.

in an another video of his he brings up stats that men are not waking up, contrary to some voices. TOTAL of marriages or de facto marriages or cohabitations or LTR are about the same. Video might be slightly dated now, yet people usually are basing assumptions on rate of marriage, which is not necessarily accurate indicator of men willing to get into a relationship and pedestilise a pussy.

When I read dudes passing by a bar with women and no dudes, I'm highly suspicious of the conclusions.

When I go out I never see anything similar.

The only real indicator is birthrate.

@Pokeandcoke Interesting analysis. One point he missed out, this was not some fiction Hollywood jargon, this is how captains and boat wrecks went.

Women and children off the boat first -- that is more important because it's not just the protagonist Jack that would have sacrificed his life, it's the hundreds of other men aboard.

Women take for granted, and expect a man to act in his masculine protect them in case of attacks, stand closest to the road, pay for their meal, drive the car, "wear the pants"

Yet, they clearly don't abide by their feminine roles, they act disagreeable, most of them can't cook, they mostly aren't shy or demure, they work a "strong and independent" job where they listen to the boss (obeying a man that would lay her off at a moment's notice) instead of obeying a potential husband (a man that would take a bullet for her at a moment's notice).

Women's priorities are upside down. Chivalry is dead, and women killed it.