The two approaches taken to absolutes are opposite ends of a spectrum. For most people it is wisest to aim in the middle of the spectrum and then adjust a little depending on your character and a little depending on hers as you get to know it.

Some people will not work well together full stop. Others can with a little adjustment. No one is a perfect fit.

If you do not ever discuss expectations you are as dumb as one of those women who expects her man to mind read what she wants. If you are always analy harping on about your rules you are in danger of being a little man with an inadequacy problem.

Ideally (and this is ideally, reality will n=mess this up to some extent) talk about boundaries fairly relaxed and form time to time. Learn what hers are, tell her what yours are, debate and compromise where there is a gap. If you can't compromise, then consider if either she is inadequate or you are too demanding.

Women are not as good at compromise as most men because they tend to be more self centred, so they do need to know what you like. They are better at compliance and agreeability. Note the compliance is to their social group not to you as their lord and master. So consider her social group. If she is a polygamous mormon, you will probably get to lay down your rules firmly but you will have to go to church a lot to pay for that. If she has a liberal arts degree she will expect to lay down the law to you. You can't out alpha the hive once the honeymoon period runs out. So talk early talk when the stakes are low and there is no risk of losing anything because no one has done anything.

I suspect that your thoughts on punching above your weight and attracting superficial SMV could have some truth. But it could also be being potential high value -a med student- and being a bit socially awkward. You may be excluding those who value themselves higher. This is almost the same thing. You may be right about the potential of these women for autism or at least for making surface choices -"I want a doctor, who cares if he is a cool guy, he is a doctor"

I dare say practising social competence is the biggest thing you can do.

I do not think it realistic that you could gain that much actual muscle weight in that time frame. Novice body builders usually have a max monthly gain of about 2 lbs and that will most likely be on a large frame with good genetics and a high protein diet. As they become less novice, the gains fall to low ounces a month as the body becomes more adapted to the stimuli. To be honest if you check out what steroid users add, you would be lucky to gain (and subsequently retain) this much if you went all in and shrank your nuts and softened your dick with a test and deca cycle. Thankfully the body is hard to abuse that much even if you try. You would need a darn good reason to want to suddenly carry 20lbs of extra muscle about loading your organs and circulatory system with it. Attracting potential mates is not in my opinion a good enough reason. I don't like the idea that a man carries a pound more than he needs in life. If you go to work with heavy tools or carry heavy packs in the mountains you soon get what I mean. Weight is a handicap unless it provides functionality you need. I would aim to be functionally fit for your aims in life. Then whatever weight that lands you at will be good for you. You will also look good.

The community seems to be divided onto explicit boundaries esentially being, as Rollo explained, a form of mate-guarding with negative long term effects and that a girl will naturally behave within reasonable, implied boundaries from a guy who is her "alpha", and on the other hand onto them being fine and even necessary if presented as "personal boundaries" and not just simply "controlling".

The first approach assumes granting total freedom and examining behaviour, and then nexting when implicit boundaries are breached, the second assumes stating them openly when needed/asked ("my girlfriend can't do..." etc).

Both have some sense to me. Any open boundary is preventing a girl from doing what she would otherwise do, which isn't ideal, and why does she want to do that which requires a boundary in the first place? However, it seems unlikely for any girl to perfectly fit in a presupposed mould of behaviour, especially over many years, especially in today's day n age.

What is the more correct approach?