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@cdclopper not as much as you probably think
Check out the various results from this search:
Quick question for you. It's an akward one. Does size matter?
where I feel that the husband fucked up is when he fit right in the stereotype of the incompetent husband: "you ask me what to do every day [at dinner]" / "you ask me what they need in their backpacks".
We don't even know for sure that this is how it went down; it's just how she feeeeeels about it.
More likely scenario based on things I've been through, as well as additional knowledge about their situation gained from various YouTubers' response videos:
She complains and bitches no matter what he does or how he does things, and out of frustration he says "just tell me what you want!", and she views that as failure on his part.