@notdoingcoke

LTR making jokes about texting other guys, whats the least nuclear course of action

Long story short this girl I been dating for a few years is cool. submissive, buys me stuff, cooks, blah blah- she has her own issues that reveal she's pretty broken anyway (daddy issues, not used to "good men" etc) so I just play the relationship day by day. She is madly in love with me, I dont care about having her forever or marrying her.Any time she says she loves me I just say "I know". I only tell her I love her when we fuck every now and then and she loves it. im pretty reserved emotionally

We were chilling outside and she stars discussing getting a new apartment. we're both smoking some weed and the vibe is cool. Then she says "I was about to say something but I didnt want you to get mad". I tell her spit it out and she says "I was gonna say 'I'll be texting you AND other guys when I get my new apartment'". Now upon hearing this, I didnt say anything or make a face, I really was just like "thats how it be". But in my head im utterly confused. What causes women to say these retarded ass statements? its more funny than upsetting to me, cause its like she's digging her own grave. Anyway, she goes on to say she just likes to get a rise out of me, cause im so "nonchalant" but I've been cheated on before and have heard enough "jokes" and given enough benefit of the doubt with women. So as soon as I heard that I mentally checked out and started thinking bout spinning plates again. I already didnt want a relationship nor do I put much stock in them. I dont appreciate jokes like that coming from women cause at the end of the day, these hoes be for real. Saying that under the guise of trying to get a rise out of me is retarded but I dont expect her to be logical. it'll just get her tossed to the side. Anyways she's just started a new big girl job working in a hospital (I know) so I dont feel like playing it safe and giving her that benefit of the doubt. rather be done with it all

Let me know what yall think. I've already started to open my options some more. Im beginning to think this chick is really just too far gone, as smart as she is. I dont care to be tested in that way, especially not after being with her for 3 years. My solution is to just keep fucking, getting free food, blah blah. she's starting to gain weight anyway (still looks good but all her family is fat so I dee that in her future) so it may be time to sell low. Im going to branch out my options and keep raking in the benefits, but I'd like some more input just to further solidify my mind with good information

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

With what little info you've shared, this strikes me as possibly being a high fired shit test more than anything else. Thing is, you pot heads have more important things to concern yourselves with than relationships. You should take some time to sort out whatever is going on in your life that triggers you to use marijuana. If you're also consuming alcohol, deal with that as well. Run a search, ask around, there are plenty of guys working their way through their substance abuse problems, so there shouldn't be any shortage of organization or books they share personal experience with should such a journey interest you.

@MiracleAligner

She wants commitment after a year

I've explained in my previous post about this complicated relationship. Basically i was honest and told her im not in a position right now to have a serious commitment, and she said she didnt want that from me and we're just gonna be friends and keep seeing eachother. Just two days later she calls crying and saying im horrible for stringing her along for a year and making me feel guilty and shit. Than soon later she switched it again and said she doesnt want anything serious, but now that ive said it (that i dont want anything serious), it made her feel used and she needs to hear it from me that im serious with her. I honestly dont even know what she wants right now

my answer / it feels like its time to call it. I want a casual relationship right now but she needs reassurance about the future, so it looks like theres no way to continue

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXqPNlng6uI

@MidgetSpinner

Are dating apps a problem now, or is it me?

Immediately, I will be honest and say I'm a little lazy with dating apps. I swipe right on everything, and then filter out the matches after the fact, but I don't believe it would matter even if I didn't - in fact, I'd probably have less matches.

Here's the issue: Basically all of my matches are with women I don't consider to be in my league. I don't have a distorted or warped view of myself, I know my worth and I know the kind of women I'm capable of getting, but for some reason it ain't happening on these apps anymore.

Back in the day (pre-covid), I approached these apps with the same laziness, and got wayyyyy more matches, and much better options too. What has changed? Because I'm pretty certain it isn't me, and I know I'm not the only one who's noticed this.

Edit: Could be because I'm a little older now, but I doubt it. More than likely it is because online dating has shifted more to social media platforms such as Instagram where attractive women can advertise themselves much more easily for very high value men, leaving all the lake monsters and decrepid single mothers for dating apps. Probably a lot more complex than that, or maybe it's that my face is not en vogue post-covid. Maybe they can detect that I'm not an esteemed, vaccinated soy lord. No idea, that's why I'm here.

@Noonenoname

Is this girl just after free attention?

Here is a chat I had with a girl. Is she just after free attention and if so should I just ignore her? (it's quite long so feel free to just skim through it quickly it or ignore it completely if you so desire).

tl:dr When I suggested to meet she said she was busy but didn't come up with an alternative date she has now started messaging me so maybe she just wants free attention?

[02/05, 16:59] .: ME - Hi how are you?

[02/05, 17:01] Her - : Hi

[02/05, 17:01] Her - : I'm good thanks xx

[02/05, 17:09] Me - Cool what you up to?

[02/05, 17:16] Her - : Dinner time here at the moment What about you

[02/05, 17:19] .: ME - Doing a bit of work and waiting for an ice cream to reach the perfect amount of Melted

[02/05, 17:20] Her - : Sounds productive lol

[02/05, 17:20] Her - : Did you enjoy yourself at the party on Wednesday? There was a lot of people that turned up!

[02/05, 17:20] ME - Who says men can't multi talk I got this like a boss

[02/05, 17:20] HER - Super skills

[02/05, 17:21] ME - Yeah it was a blast I met some really cool people and I learned about a profession I didn't know existed

[02/05, 17:31] HER - Yes it was very interesting

[02/05, 17:31] HER - : Do you think you would be keen to book with someone to experience

[02/05, 17:32] ME - You mean book with someone for a message?

[02/05, 17:32] Her-: Yea

[02/05, 17:32] HER - Especially a more sensual one

[02/05, 17:33] ME - Yeah I'm open to that

[02/05, 17:34] HER - It's amazing how many are out there offering similar services Still seems like a bit of a secret society lol

[02/05, 17:38] ME - Yeah I suppose it is. Next time swap your heart shaped glasses for dark shades to keep things secret

[02/05, 17:39] ME - You are now a secret agent

[02/05, 17:45] HER - Just call me croft haha

[02/05, 17:45] HER - : Have you got any weekend plans

[02/05, 17:45] HER - : What do you normally do in your spare time

[02/05, 17:48] ME - You're showing your age there Mrs Croft. Possibly working this weekend how about you? I guess you don't get much free time either?

I've been spending a lot of my spare time working need to make more time for fun events.

[02/05, 17:52] HER - Ah ok. Lots of work on your plate by the sounds of it

[02/05, 17:53] HER - Spare time I read a bit, sometimes writing, adult colouring, yoga most Mondays, walking, choir and massage with naughty friends

[02/05, 17:59] ME - Nice are you free next weekend?

[02/05, 18:18] HER - Weekend is usually family time I'm quite busy

[02/05, 18:39] ME - what day works best for you?

[03/05, 20:47] HER - Will figure out something x

[03/05, 20:47] HER - How was your day hopefully you got a little break from work

[03/05, 22:09] ME - It was good had a bit of a break how about you?

[03/05, 22:13] HER - Aww glad to hear it

[03/05, 22:13] HER - : Well I was busy went to a kids bday party for the afternoon

[03/05, 22:15] ME - Wow you know how to live life on the wild side.

[03/05, 22:31]HER - : Something like that haha

[03/05, 23:21] ME - My mum always warned me about wild party girls like you

[04/05, 07:21] HER - Did she?! Mum may be right there Continue at your own risk

[08/05, 10:45] HER - How are you?

Up to much today? Xx

===

Attempt to answer - I think she may be after free attention based on her interest to chat but not a strong interest to arrange to meet.

The problem isn't that she's following her instincts by seeking out male attention, but that a year later you're still using text's to communicate with females and don't as of yet appear to particularly value your time. Study the book and consider exploring hobbies to find something engaging to occupy yourself when not dealing with work, chores, or school.

@Vermillion-Rx Picture reminds me of a story at my first job in the mid-80s. Big auto shop. One of my co-workers was this histrionic black guy, whose voice would go fluting up 2 octaves when he got agitated or excited.

Rare back then but an obvious tranny with blond hair and way too red of lipstick was waiting for a battery installation. One of the crew tells the black guy, "Hey, G____, That lady wants YOU to install her battery!" He got all excited, gathered the tools needed, and went to the far end of the shop to complete the job. Wrapped up and came walking back toward us all, trying not to bust up laughing. He said in as hushed a voice as he could manage, "THAT was a BO-woy, Mentor! THAT was a BO-woy!" (since I can't get superscript to work, imagine the all-caps syllables 2 octaves higher.)