@alchemist

What do you do with a plate that goes out without you?

Exhibit A: I've dealt with plates that go out without me, complete and utter red flag, I know, but if it's not your wife so-to-say, why would you care? Especially when you're 1 to 2 SMV points above them, and they have high obedience to you. Meaning; if you're traveling, they ask when you'll be back, or the weekend rolls around and they text you what your plans are, etc.

In my experience my previous plate was just like this, and eventually I couldn't deal with it because she wanted commitment, knowing damn well I won't commit to a Thursday, Friday, Saturday regular bar-goer (even though I previously worked at that bar- women and men are not the same - if she wanted to be with the "girls" she could have just socialized at her apartment with them and called it a night, or went out to the movies, any other past time for fucks sake).

Recently, what led me to this post is I have a new plate now, she's so far been very obedient, agreeable, and submissive, no known skeletons so far. Nevertheless, last time I came over to her's she briefly skid past the fact that she went out the weekend prior. I think that Saturday (day after we banged) and I hadn't received an invite then to join. Ok, I put it on the backburner, clearly some new poison brewing I thought. I smash and dash, go out the same Friday night, then explore my options the following Saturday night.

A week later, same old wyd text on Friday, same routine follows. Then, Saturday night, I see her out at the bar towards the end of the night - but, she did mention to me that she'd go out and asked if I wanted to join, I said I was with my brother for dinner (which I was earlier) and declined said I was going to busy, because I set the frame not them, unless they earn it I won't drop my plans and close my options unless it's a total dime which we all know doesn't exist.

When I saw her out, she was with her gay friend (I know he's gay A. because of the attire, and B. she mentioned him) but regardless, you're out where there's other men, that's like your employee using the company business card on his vacation miles, that man's lost the promotion when he comes back, in my mind the girl loses her "commitment" upgrade opportunity.

But, what's different with this plate than my last one is she apologized the day after said: "Hey, sorry if I seemed off the last night seeing you totally caught me by suprise. I didn't mean to be wierd, just froze a bit. Hope we're good!"

Okay... at least you recognize the bad behavior, then I weigh the pros and cons of said chick, so far. And even that's strange in this case, she said randomly "btw I've been celibate for 2 years" right after the first time we banged. Then she comes from a single mother household, told me explicitly she has daddy issues, yet always talks positively about her dad and last Fri before I came helped him with some things. Then, says she's been celibate yet has some distinguished bedroom skills (to say the least). This chick is literally a walking oxymoron/ contradiction. Goes out, yet apologizes...

I'm sort of stumped where to move on from here. Continue recreational routine? Should I be more concerned/ put my foot down in some way, or do I have no right? I know some of y'all will say I don't have the right to make it closed on her end and not mine. Though I haven't claimed her, I don't enjoy assuming she's out there talking to other men. What would you do in this scenario?

My attempt to answer: spin the plate until it inevitably falls, every woman has skeletons in their closets, some just have graveyards. When I notice red flags, they instantly reveal disqualifiers, bad habits are very likely to be repeated. Continue having fun, if you sense disrespect give her 2 strikes, cut ties if no resolution or reconciliation follows.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

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@filtereduuu

Plate abruptly left after discovering another plate's nighty in my bedroom

Been spinning plates for a while.

This one plate I haven't seen for a few weeks. Yesterday I texted her and we quickly established that she's coming over for the night. She works next to mine. She is normally super keen to stay the night.

She comes over and we have a great session.

Afterwards I go shower and get ready for bed on the understanding that we're sleeping in, and I hear that she's fiddling with the main door downstairs. I come down wondering wtf and she just says she wants to leave and her friend is waiting to pick her up.

I say what's up talk to me, she says she just wants to leave. I open the door bewildered (because she couldn't) and she says "just check your bedroom floor" and abruptly leaves, clearly upset.

I go upstairs and she just found another's plate nighty next to the bed I guess and laid it visibly for me.

We never talked of exclusivity or anything like that and I never implied it. One time she probed and I implied that I'm seeing others (she probed around safety and I told her I wrap it with everyone and we left it at that).

Yes it's my fault I didn't hide the nighty, girls are masters of this shit leaving stuff allover your place it was hidden I guess plus I didn't have time to arrange stuff before she came over. My fault.

I'm not going to reach out or anything like that, I may stumble into her again. I plan on ignoring the whole thing.

Wondering if you guys have had this situation before and what happened and how you dealt with it.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

This reads like the bigger issue is that something's going on in your life leaving you to reach out to women you've low interest in. The plate was about to fall out of inventory, but you're laziness inspired them to fully understand that you've no particular reason to ever want them in your life beyond casual sex and never will. Just renew disciplining yourself to regularly cleaning your room in the mornings and keep approaching other females to ensure you have a steady influx of prospective plates as others fall out of inventory.

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@IllBrain2040

How to regain wife’s respect!

Used to be on the main subreddit years ago. Was successful with women and dated around a lot. Rotated different girls, had a few fuckups but generally knew what I was doing. Had a plate who was excellent. Beautiful, submissive, did anything in bed. Was my main girl I spent a lot of time with. Kept spinning other girls and always honest with her we weren’t fully together. Moved in together during COVID and sex was always great, she cooked, she cleaned, she was always pleasant and kind. I got hooked by her trap and we became official just out of comfort.

Always lifted but Covid kind of killed it. Got skinnyfat and depressed. Gamed a lot. Social circle died with covid. Didn’t speak to any other women except my gf. Developed body dysmorphia. Became a bit cringe. Not one to let myself rot. Did a beginners cycle of TRT. Felt great, lifting again, going out again, chatting to girls again. Really horny, really confident and good game. Drinking, coke, partying. Girlfriend hated hit because she knew how I was, coming home late at night stressed her out. Hooked up with a few women, drink and drugs made me sloppy. Girlfriend got access to my phone and saw that I cheated. Big arguments, a lot of her crying, seemed like such a big deal to her when for me I was just gaming women for self esteem and steroid horny and no intention of leaving her. She accepted this explanation, forgave and we “moved on”.

But wasn’t the same after. Sex wasn’t as frequent and she was less open to old things we did. Bickering happened more often. Slight disrespect that wasn’t present before.

I finished my cycle and did PCT, but fell into a depressed gamer slump again, lost gains, bad posture, skinny and ugly. She respected me even less, I became more of a pathetic coward.

Accidentally knocked her up. Married her because of it. Was larping as some kind of moral conservative at the time and didn’t want my child to be born a bastard, thought it was cringe to have a child and not be married. We’re locked together now because of the child anyway. And she was still a good woman, the kind that wears baggy clothes at the gym and doesn’t speak or get involved when the men are all talking. Wasn’t perfect but better than the current crop of high maintenance girlbosses that were on offer.

Had the baby, naturally, no vaccinations, healthy child. Se immediately switched after the child. Bossy, rude, disrespectful, angry, snarky, hitting and just all around unpleasant. Bedroom completely died. I didn’t want her working while she had the child, because I was larping as a traditionalist and felt it was my duty to provide for them both. So she spent all day at home, watching reality TV and stupid crap and the therapy-talk and “me me me” attitude and nastiness seeped into our interactions.

I let it go for the first few months because I thought it was postpartum or some shit, and didn’t want to stress her out more with the baby. So I took it all and let her be a mean and angry bitch and washed the dishes when he demanded it. Yes honey. I had degenerated into a buck broken cuck and ugly and unattractive and she had no respect for me.

By the time I realised what I’d become I wasn’t able to put my foot down and restore the previous dynamic. She just didn’t like me anymore, and the sweet submissive girlfriend had become the neurotic naggy wife. Lots of arguing, lots of passive aggression, very toxic household.

I eventually said fuck it and left on a “business trip” for 2 months. I went to an island in the sun and lifted and relaxed on the beach and partied with girls. Away from her I felt my health immediately improve, I stood straighter and I spoke more confidently and I returned to some of my old self. Years of pent up game was released on these “travelling” women who were so easy and I hooked up with a lot of girls.

When I got back I was recovered and changed and she could sense and feel it and our relationship was better again. I was happier and healthier, I enforced boundaries and she submitted again. Sex was fun and we got along, and when she started hinting at being disrespectful again would just tickle her or fuck her and diffuse her that way.

But of course the stupid bitch couldn’t keep her nose out and snooped through my shit again. I thought I had been smart about wiping my phone and covering my tracks but she’d found some way into my laptop instead and recovered my deleted accounts and chat backups I didn’t know existed. So everything blew up again when she saw all the different women I cheated with and we got back to stupid loud arguments in front of the kis, threats of divorce, the whole works.

Now we’re back to square one, she’s naggy and angry and disrespectful, it’s a chore and negotiation to get her to have sex with me, we argue all the time. Dread game doesn’t work because coming back an hour too late just blows things up for the whole week. She hides AirTags in my car. We did “couples counselling” because that’s was YouTube suggested to her but which was just lame and she didn’t like it either. We’re in a fragile state. And she’s pregnant again.

Won’t divorce because a) the child, still a traditional conservativecuck and don’t want my children to grow up in a single mother family. b) probably won’t find another woman who’s antivaxx and conservative like her and my SMV is much lower than before and c) divorce proceedings will probably reveal my extensive tax avoidance and I wouldn’t put it past her to turn me into authorities out of spite because that’s just what women do.

What’s the angle now? How can I break her in again because right now she sees me as filthy degenerate loser who won’t stop drinking and cheating and I can’t leave my fucking house anymore without her freaking.

Yes I know getting married was a stupid thing to do. I don’t think it’s irreparable though and I’m back to being jacked, but I can’t undo the “cheating” and she doesn’t have the love heart eyes for me anymore and is sticking around for the financial support. Purely transactional relationship now.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.