@alchemist

I fuck women but still have a porn issue, how do I cut it off cold turkey?

Been trying periods of no-fap at the start of this year, the best I've been able to go is 2 weeks or maybe 3 weeks, there was a point in my teens when I was probably doing it 2-3 times a day -- absolutely horrible for your hormones, motivation, social stamina, and most importantly your brain.

I think I have created that first baseline during my teens, where it is now difficult to cut off wanking the johnson totally, since it has left early imprints. I am far from an incel, just hopped from one plate to another, this new one has a higher libido, but due to our schedules I'm only able to meet up with her 1-2 days per week. The last plate, we'd bang 3-4 days per week.

In the past if I wanted to avoid fapping, I'd exercise a second time in the day, or do cardio, or reading, something to pass the time elsewhere. But recently, I've gotten into the cycle of doing it every day that I don't meet up with a woman. Heck, sometimes with my last plate, I'd do it earlier in the day before meeting her.

I think part of it has to do with old habits, also some sort of cope for my busy life situation, last year has been a neverending cycle of full gas no breaks, literally, I was working 3 jobs, I lost > money in some investments, bad news in the family, unexpected expenses, the list goes on, but that's my cross to carry. I shouldn't have to have unhealthy coping mechanisms.

No mater what I fucking do, I can't cut off this habit fully. And I want to, I genuinely want to not look at porn another day in my life, I know the effects, and I'd rather have a wet dream idgaf. Have y'all done anything or come upon anything that helped you fight off this addiction?

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Attempt to answer: On the one hand, I have utilized possible strategies to quit prn, but I also have not installed content sensitive blockers on my devices, and I have not utilized strategies every time I have the urge, I could find other solutions and outlets or hobbies in those moments. I could spend that libido energy cold approaching, I could spend it meditating, anything else, it doesn't always have to be self-sabotage in the form of exercise.

Have you brought this concern to the attention of the folks on the no-fap forum, at all?

@qzone

Could this LTR issue have been prevented/dealt with through frame?

Went through a breakup recently and have been thinking a lot about it to first and foremost, own my shit, but also recognize deal breakers that cannot be fixed through frame. There was a lot of stuff I could have done better and my frame wasn't perfect, but that isn't the point so I won't go into all that. For brevity, could the following issue have been fixed through stronger frame? Or was it a red flag and I chose right jamming?

Her (25) parents seemed to always try to interject in our finances. I (27) had set the boundary a couple times already. They are definitely helicopter parents and she would go to them for everything instead of me. The thing that ultimately lead to breakup was that I went on a trip with some friends and paid maybe $50-$100 toward a friend's way since he through not his fault has very low funds (I help him out like this maybe once a year if that). When I got back, she tried to tell me I couldn't be generous toward him anymore. I couldn't have that conversation with a friend I have had since I was a child, so I put my foot down, squashed that, she buckled and she dropped it. She then went to the parents for backup, parents backed her up, they put it to an ultimatum to me as in comply or get out, and I peaced out. Maybe I could have tried to talk to them, called their bluff, or told her our finances are our business and not theirs. But at the time I made a value judgement of their family views on it as irreconcilable; money isn't more important than people and I am doing good financially. Felt also that her parents would always try to be invasive/she would run to them. Maybe my bigger question is, can the parents and also a girl not getting off the tit be a deal breaker? What would you guys have done? Thanks in advance.

To answer my own question: Should have put the foot down and told her that my finances are no business of the parents. Continued to maintain frame regarding parents.

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This reads like the girls family comes from a third world or post-Soviet society culture, regardless frame wouldn't have helped with this girl. You simply didn't have the confidence and experience needed to understand that this girl requires that in order for a man to be involved with her, they must also be willing to secure her parents approval. As this is of no interest to you, you shouldn't have let the relationship advance any further the first time you encountered this particular phenomena of her culture and simply moved on to someone else.

@Typo-MAGAshiv female friends, its practically an oxymoron that can only be resolved be re-defining friend to "Useful and pleasant acquaintance that I do not intend to bang"

This definition does the job when applied to male friends but good ones still have something else to offer -a brotherly love, the certainty in your mind you can trust them to look out for you in a disinterested way, the un spoken rule of every man trying to contribute equally in finance and effort unless his fellows relieve him of the obligation and even then he will feel some regret he could not make it.

Or if you drew a Venn diagram, you could decide to put some females who would not belong in the "want to bang circle" in the circle marked "friends" but not inside a smaller inner circle marked "true friends". There should, however, never be an intersection between "friends" and "want to bang" Whereas there can be an intersection between "acquaintances" and "want to bang"

Whether or not you make an exception on the venn diagram for your wife/ mother of your children depends on what she shows you over the years. On good days I start to think an exception should be made but when bad ones come along I start to think I am dumb.